Face your Fears

Kristina - Missouri City, Texas
Entered on October 22, 2008
Age Group: Under 18
Themes: fear

Face Your Fears

“Take a few more laps while we are loading up.” That is one of the last things I can remember my dad saying to me before the wreck. Take into consideration everything I write is just bits and pieces of what I can recall or what my family has told me happened. On August 31st of 2006, my life changed; I became more cautious and felt less invincible. I believe everyone should conquer their greatest fears, which is exactly what I forced myself to do.

It was only a matter of seconds before the thing I had loved most caused me the worst physical and emotionally pain I could have ever imagined. Dirt bikes, you can never fully grasp the amazing feeling you get while being in control of one, unless, that is, you have ridden one, you’ll know quite well the free feeling you get from this sport. That day I chose to wear only jeans, a t shirt, Converse, and a helmet, figuring it would be like the hundreds of other times I had been out riding. I was getting all caught up in the wind sifting through my clothes, the trees blurring around me, and that was until it happened. The throttle locked up and I lost complete control of my bike. Going forty to fifty miles per hour I slammed into the ground, had it not been for my helmet I dare say I might not be here today. My brother says I was limping back towards the truck, barely able to push my bike, and that is when it fully hit me. I had a splitting headache and was so dizzy it was difficult to walk, my entire right arm was throbbing and I was bleeding pretty gruesomely from my elbow, I could not even move my left hand, and both of my knees felt like they were going to collapse beneath me. My dad and brother quickly loaded up my bike into the truck as we headed to the emergency room, my dad called my mom, big mistake. You know how mothers can be; she had quite the panic attack when she was told to meet us at the emergency room. By the time we got to the old Memorial Herman Hospital I had bled through my brothers’ t-shirt. However, being in a motorcycle accident, I was admitted to a room within minutes of stumbling into the hospital. A couple of hours, pain killers, and x-rays later, we discovered that I had completely torn the ligament holding my left thumb in place, dislocated both my shoulder and elbow on my right arm, the doctor told me it could take weeks, even months for me to fully heal.

After visiting specialists and doctors of all kinds I finally got a cast. It sunk in that I would not be able to do as much physical activity as I was used to. Throughout the 18 weeks I spent in a cast healing my physical wounds as well as the emotional ones, my dad and I discussed whether or not I should try to ride again. He did not think it was a very great idea, but I wanted to prove to everyone that I could do this, that I could get back on and keep riding. September 23rd, the day before my 16th birthday, my dad surprised me with a pink and purple riding shirt and pants; I can remember looking at him thinking that I could never use this gear. He told me that, if I was ready, that I could go with him and my brother to a farm we used to ride on, he had the faith in me that I was really needing, he instilled the confidence boost in me that would get me over a huge road block in my life. It was a little over a year after my accident that I finally had the courage to straddle my bike again and shift it into first gear, I took off, leaving all my thoughts about “what if” this and “I can not” that, I blocked all my worries about getting broken up again from my mind. I finally had the courage to conquer my biggest fear and to prove myself to anyone that doubted me; I was going to ride again.

I believe that everyone should challenge themselves to battle their fears, step up to them and say, “I can beat you, you will not hold me back anymore,” and once they break free from their worries, it will be like a giant weight lifted off their shoulders. Looking back at what happened to me still freaks me out, but I am stronger from it. I still may have knee pains and aches everywhere I got bashed, but I have an awesome story to tell, as well as, a great pride in myself knowing that I faced my biggest fear.