This I Believe – Love Can Change a Life

Catherine - Springdale, Arkansas
Entered on October 22, 2008
Age Group: Under 18
Themes: love

I believe love can change a life. Why? Because my life has been changed by love, and since this change has been recent, it’s all the fresher and more miraculous. Would you think it mushy if I said that the person who changed my life is my ‘someone special’?

In my early life, I was a perfect angel. I always cleaned up after myself, always shared, and never made fun of people or called names. But then I hit elementary school. I hung out with the wrong crowd and made some choices that I battle against today, and will battle against for years, possibly. I struggle everyday against habits set so deeply in stone that I do them instinctually.

I could feel myself drifting away from family and friends, becoming more solitary, antisocial. I lied more often, and soon I began to worry. What was happening to me? But my worry came to a peak as, one night, I came within an inch of killing myself.

It was over the summer of 2007, and I hadn’t seen anyone outside of my family at home for months. No emails, texts, or phone calls. No nothing. I was later to learn that my email was broken. But I was feeling abandoned and as if my school friends had forgotten me. One night, the depression and loneliness became too much. I spaced out for a minute, and the next thing I know, I’m holding my pocketknife, blade out, wrist bared, ready for the first cut to end the pain. I stared, unthinking, unblinking, at the short, ugly blade. Suddenly, in disgust with myself, I threw the knife down and collapsed on my bed sobbing.

When school came around, I wasn’t much better. I was happier, sure, but I hadn’t yet found my purpose in life. I was a hollow shell. Then, about halfway through my seventh grade year, I found that purpose, something to live for…I fell in love.

If I hadn’t met him, then I maybe would have eventually sunk to cutting myself. I might have even started doing drugs, and I might’ve even killed myself.

Either way, escaped the dangerous cliff. Now, no matter what life throws at me, as long as my ‘someone special’ is with me, I can take it on and be a better me for it. I believe that love can change a life…do you?