A New Perspective
I was born a skeptic, a doubter, and a sinner. I was also baptized as a Catholic. I never really understood what it meant to be Catholic until a couple of months ago. My parents definitely tried to help me understand, but I just never got it. In August, I went to a four day retreat. I had been to retreats before but I was always the skeptic sitting in the back thinking “How do I get out of here?” and “Ugh, faker” when people were talking about their own experiences with God. Deep down though, I wanted to be that person.
Over the four days that I spent at the retreat, my life changed. In the first two days, I was still the skeptic in the back. Around the third day I started wanting more and more of what other people were getting. I began to pray, truly pray, like I had never prayed before, not just sitting there and letting my mind wander off. A few hours later there was confession going on, while I was in there the priest asked me if I had gotten what I wanted out of the retreat. I replied “no, not yet” and he said “just wait, you will.” I really wanted to believe him, but I just could not bring myself to do so. I went to bed that night doubting things that I was taught from the beginning of my life. As I lay in my bunk, thoughts ran through my head “How can one man dying, save the whole world? How do we even know that this is true? What if someone just made this up?”
When I woke up the next day, I was still the same doubter I was the night before. What I did not know when I woke up was that this was the day that was going to change me. We started learning about the Holy Spirit and later on we had adoration; during the adoration, something inside of me clicked. Along with the adoration and a blessing everything became clearer. I cried, but I did not know why. I spoke but I did not know what I was saying. I lost a complete sense of what was going on around me and it came to the point where it was just me and God. I began to understand who I am and who I am meant to be. I began to understand what my belief is and why I believe it. Everything I had ever doubted became everything I am living for. My belief is simple, I believe in God.
If you enjoyed this essay, please consider making a tax-deductible contribution to This I Believe, Inc.