Marcus Aurelius said that “the happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts…”, and I believe that in everyone lies to potential to be true to them self and make their life what they want it to be if they want it bad enough. Whether it be a person proving themselves to a group of people to be accepted or someone that struggles going through everyday life, all people have that strength lying inside them, waiting to be unleashed.
Throughout my life I have moved around to different schools several times. To be exact, I have gone to two different elementary schools and three different middle schools. As a result of going to all these schools, I have been introduced to many different types of people, and ultimately introduced to many different types of myself. I can remember feeling like I had to put on a front just to go to school and feel like I was accepted: keyword feel. At one time in my life I felt like I had real friends, but that was taken away from me when I realized that they were the same people who made me feel bad about myself. It was so bad that I could literally feel myself on the outside looking in, wishing that I had the confidence to be myself and do what I wanted to do with my life. I wished that could put those kinds of thoughts in my head in the morning, but at the point my life was in, I was just praying for God to get me through the day without breaking down. Like most teenagers in middle school, I struggled with my identity. I wanted so badly for people who saw me as the “new girl” to accept me as one of their own, and I felt like I had to give up my originality, be who they wanted me to be and do what they were doing. After having a façade for so long, I could no longer recognize myself as Brittany Wilson, I only saw an imitation of them. After middle school was over, I gave up on trying to fit in and focused more on reclaiming myself. Big surprise that once I did that, I met new friends that let me be true to myself and encouraged me to have my own goals and ideas. They allowed me to be who I was without criticizing me or making me feel like it was wrong. Through meeting those friends, whom I am proud to say I am still close to, I reached inside myself and gained embrace the strength that I always had.
I used to look in the mirror and hate what I saw. I used to be a girl with no real idea of self worth and wish that I was invisible to the world. Today, I am not that girl anymore and I use my strength and confidence I have to be myself everyday to never become that girl again.
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