The Shocking Truth

Desirea - Bowling Green, Ohio
Entered on October 21, 2008
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: birth, family, love

When I was growing up, I remember constantly hearing my family, friends, even anonymous people I didn’t know telling me, “Oh my god, you look just like your mom.” I would always reply, “No we don’t, not even a little,” even though I knew we did have strong resemblances. Humorously, I remember telling my mother, “We don’t look anything alike, and if we did I would look better than you because I’m younger,” and we would both laugh.

When I was fifteen we were joking while we were comparing our facial similarities—our almond-shaped eyes, our high cheekbones, and the gap between our front teeth. It seemed like we were having a natural conversation when she told me a shocking story. She said, “It is so crazy you and I look so much alike because you were the pregnancy that I wasn’t going to go through with.”

“For real?” I looked at her as if she were crazy, but I continued to listen. She continued, “When I found out I was pregnant with you, I cried; I couldn’t go through with having another baby because I had just had two. I had first gotten pregnant at the age of 17 with your brother, Demetrus. Then the year after him, I had your sister, Destania. One year after that, I found out that I was pregnant with you. It was too hard trying to raise those two with me being so young, and the thought of being pregnant again was too devastating. So I went to my mother and told her that I couldn’t do it; I wanted an abortion.” My mom said that my grandmother told her not to get an abortion, to just have the baby and she would raise the baby as my mom’s sister. My mom explained that she took it all in, and continued on with the pregnancy.

My mother explained to me that after she was done with her hard labor, she was ready to look at and accept the baby that she had just given birth to as her new-found sister. She told me when the nurse gave her the baby, she couldn’t help but notice how cute I was. She said that I reminded her of a porcelain doll, and that I was her porcelain doll. She talked with my grandmother and told her that she wanted to keep me!

Looking back to when I was a child, I always realized that I was the closest to my mother out of us three. When I consider our relationship today, I can see we are even closer. My mom could have decided not to be honest with me and I could have been living my life as her sister and we all would have been living our lives as a lie. When I look back to our conversation three years ago, I remember when she first told me about how she initially didn’t want me. She took a big risk telling me the truth instead of keeping it from me; and I am very thankful. This is the reason why I believe that honesty can make someone love unconditionally.