When anyone asks me how schools going I always give the same reply of, “It’s school.” It has been expected of me that I do well in all of my classes no matter how much I despise or feel that they are worthless. My parents were not exceptional high school students academically but since my older brother has done well they feel that it is my job to live up to par and do just as good. Living in his shadow is tough as anyone who has been in the same position with an older sibling would know, but education is a stressed subject in many homes.
Throughout high school and my beginnings of college there is a big difference between how school is viewed from the people receiving knowledge than that of others who are finished with their schooling. Encouragement to do my best is given by parents, siblings, and even church leaders. Higher education seems to be where everything points so that I can succeed in life. In the encouragements freely thrown to me there is a persistent conscience nagging me to do what they say while the little devil sitting on my shoulder is tempting me to do as I please with dropping studies and becoming a bum in Hawaii. This decision will haunt me forever. From the day this option was conceived I have wanted to throw the teachings from my elders to the winds and be carried away to the “good life” in the sun.
Yet here I write, sit, stand, and study in a university with my mind straying as often as it wishes to to the magic of laziness. I know that by the slight chance that I do indulge in my fantasies I will inevitably waste away without having affected anything for the better unless it’s to show how disgusting and horrid one can become, shown on slideshows to discourage high school students from dropping out. The pictures wouldn’t be of me laying out on the beach in the sun, but of when I scavenger around the backs of restaurants begging for scrapes to make it to the next day.
In all of my day dreaming and sitting in lectures I realize that education, though extremely boring, is one of those necessary evils. I feel drawn away from school with each step closer to my classes. All I believe is that once through with my studies I can give the next generation the encouragements and pushes I have received.
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