This I Believe

Tania - San Pedro, California
Entered on October 17, 2008

“Your going to become just another statistic” “Your going to be a drug addict, an alcoholic because that’s what you came from” Abuse in all ways was a huge part of my life as a child. Coming from a dysfunctional family were yelling and abuse were ways of dealing with problems. I was in sixth grade when I tasted cocaine not knowing that that could have been my death, my parents so oblivious to the fact that I knew what was going on in their lives. Me being the oldest, taking the role as a parent while my parents were out.

If you would have met me as a child, you would never have known the problems I had at home, I’ve learned that children are really good at hiding the problems at home. School was my outlet, writing was my outlet a way of me expressing my feelings without anyone hearing me, never anyone there to hear me. Just me and the paper. Being 15 and having thoughts of never wanting to wake up again, sitting on the floor in the bathroom crying my eyes out trying to write not knowing why these feelings are in my head, while looking at a razor. Knowing that if I pick it up I would be letting my brothers and sister down leaving them with parents who at that time just over looked them. My parents have since bettered their lives showing that You can always change your life.

If someone were to ever ask me if I could change my life and my childhood, I would tell them “No” My childhood and the things I’ve seen and heard have made me the person that I am today. They have made me a caring, strong person. I live to help people, to give back to children who are going through what I went through. Another statistic? Never, I am bigger then a statistic, my parent’s lives did make me who I am, but also taught me that I pave my own path, that I decide the life I want to live, that I decide my future. Some people use their childhood’s as an excuse for the life they live as an adult, some people will tell you that you are who your parent’s are. That is never an excuse because You control who you are and who you want to be. No I have no college degree… Yet, I don’t have a fancy car, and I am not rich BUT I am drug and alcohol free and in a great relationship therefore I HAVE succeeded!