To Accept New Family

Hilary - Scottsdale, Arizona
Entered on October 16, 2008
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: change, family

To accept the inevitable is not something most of us like doing. Being forced into something is never really a comfortable situation. But what about accepting things we have a choice about? I believe that acceptance is one of the greatest traits a person can have. The formal meaning, and what I believe the meaning of acceptance is, is favorable reception, approval, or favor.

Since I can remember I have known that I have been adopted. I was adopted at birth, and so thankfully, I never went through the foster care system. Accepting that I was adopted wasn’t the hard part of the situation though. It wasn’t that in classes I couldn’t do family trees depicting genetic traits, and how they carry through from generation to generation in science class. The hardest thing I ever had to accept came much later when I turned 18. When someone who is adopted turns 18 they can legally look for their birth parents, and their birth parents can legally look for their child. Accepting someone new into my life as a family member has been very trying, and has taken several months. I still don’t call Silvia my mom, even though I do call Erica my sister, and Matt my brother. I feel like I already have a mom, Silvia didn’t raise me, and my mom is the woman who raised me. Yet talking to my newly found brother or sister they refer to her as “our mom”. I started talking to my sister first, since Silvia wasn’t sure of what to say. But I’ve been talking to them since February of 2008, and met them for the first time August 11, 2008. My mother and I flew down to Florida so I could get more acquainted with them. We all went to the aquarium where we fed the sharks, and got “up close and personal” with the penguins, going behind the scenes and playing with them. Erica’s favorite animals were the sea turtles, so in the gift shop she bought us matching stone carved turtle necklaces that are pink and grey, since then I haven’t taken it off. I found out about my half- brothers mental illness, called William’s syndrome, and how it affects him. When first meeting him I noticed he acted like he was still a child, when he was 17. I thought accepting him would be much harder than it was. He is just so free spirited and friendly that I had no real issues with him, his condition, or him being my brother. But finding out about all of them, why I was adopted, that I had an older sister, and a younger brother within 45minutes was overwhelming. Finally seeing pictures and meeting them in person, was both exciting and overwhelming, but it was just too much for me to handle in such a small amount of time. I am proud to say I have finally come to accept why she gave me up, considering I was the middle child. Also accepting her, and all of my newly found bloodline as part of the family has finally come to fruition.

I could never truly be mad at Silvia for giving me the life I have, in the end I got a great family and great friends I may never have known otherwise. I become more and more close to the Kilgore’s each time we talk. Silvia acts like my mom, and I don’t really mind that, I can tell she cares a lot about me. I must admit, I care a lot about them too, even though I haven’t known them for very long. In the end I love both my family and my birth family, and I’m very lucky to have both of them. I will never regret letting my new family into my life.