I Never Know What I Want; It’s Just the Way I Am

Lynette - San Antonio, Texas
Entered on October 16, 2008
Age Group: Under 18

I believe in not knowing what I want. I believe in not always being sure of myself. I believe in making mistakes so that I can learn from them. I believe in first impressions and second chances. I also believe that what I don’t know now, I’ll figure out in the future.

I am seventeen years old and I don’t have a clue as to what I want to do with my life. I don’t know what my college major is going to be and I certainly don’t know what I may want to pursue as a career after college. The alarming thing is that so many people my age DO seem to know what they want to do. Part of it is probably because there’s so much pressure on today’s youth to reach for the stars. We’re constantly being told, “Know what you want and go for it!” But what about those of us who DON’T know what we want? What about those of us who are just trying to find our way through this chapter in our lives?

I personally believe that sometimes, not knowing is a good thing. Part of what makes life so exciting is that it’s impossible to predict. There are always going to be elements outside our control. So if that’s the case, then why do we always have to know what we want? Why is it so important to always be a step ahead? I believe that in due time, I will eventually come to know what I want to do with my life. But for now, I believe that all I can do is live in the moment and appreciate life for what it is. I want to embrace and experience all that I can before I have to move on to college. At this point, I don’t want to think about my future or what’s going to happen ten years down the road. For all I know, I could die tomorrow and any plan I had wouldn’t have mattered. I’m just doing my best to enjoy the here and now.

So instead of worrying about a plan I’m supposed to have, I’m going to focus on getting through each day with a smile on my face. I’m going to stop to smell the roses and take time out of my busy schedule to go out with friends. I’m going to give school my very best effort and I’m going to work diligently at my part-time job. I’m going to put my best foot forward and hope that it’s enough at the end of the day. I’m going to make mistakes that I know I’ll learn from. I will no longer worry about what I don’t know or what or I can’t control. I believe that at some point, I will have the answers. I believe that I will eventually know what I want to do with my life. I believe that in due time, everything will fall into place.