I had no friends.
I thought the entire world (outside of my family and church) was against me, despised me just for living. All through school, from pre-school to middle school, I was tormented. When other students found that verbal abuse failed, the bulling usually turned to physical violence. Out of the nine years and five schools, I probably had less than twenty friends.
I just wasn’t a violent person, so I disliked fighting back physically. I tried telling teachers, principles, and counselors. Nothing improved. They needed names and proof which I couldn’t usually provide; since bullies all take up for one another. Just a quick glimpse of the abuse, I was called daily every name under the sun and then some, stabbed repeatedly by a sharpened pencil and even had my wrist broken. None were punished for any of these events and that’s just starters.
As years passed, I began having emotional break downs from bottling my emotions. I would do anything to skip school and went as far as gagging myself or inflicting other injuries to myself. It’s not that I hated school, just the harassment it brought. The few friends I had helped me suffer through the years. I changed schools at the half way point of 8th grade, and towards the end of the year, the torment was starting again. Things were looking hopeless, as was my outlook on school and my future.
Then my guidance councilor mentioned a new college high school program named the Caldwell Early College High School. I had nothing to lose so I applied. Two months later I received a letter of acceptance, and I was ecstatic. At the orientation everyone seamed friendly, but from past experiences I always questioned others’ intentions when they were nice. I thought “what do they want from me” and “why are they being nice”. Turns out they all were all sincere. Now I have too many friends to count, let alone name, when previously I could barely name one.
I still have some trust issues when people I don’t know are very nice to me, but now I feel accepted for the most part for whom I am. Also I found that I could make friends, yes me the outsider! If you want to make friends, you all have heard before, just be yourself eventually you will find friends you will know and can trust with anything. Also if you’re on the opposite end don’t turn away someone that’s different, get to know them first. Who knows, they may change your life one day for the better. Of course not everyone is so friendly. There will always be someone who you don’t agree or get along with, but I now think that a friend is just an enemy you don’t know yet. Now if someone like me can be blessed with a gift of friends, there must be hope for all of us.
I believe we all could be friends.
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