Flat Surfaces

Ashlee - Sugar City, Idaho
Entered on October 15, 2008

Starting high school is a scary experience. People are always judging everyone else on how they dress, act, and look. This is hard for someone who isn’t confident in there body.

As I was starting high school I wasn’t very confident in myself; mainly my body. I had confidence when I would jump rope during Utah Jazz and BYU Cougars half-time shows, but those are performances. I feel comfortable because I’m entertaining people and they’re not judging me on what I wear or how I act. Going to high school and just being myself is when I don’t have confidence in my body. It’s hard to have confidence in my body because one: I’m really short compared to everyone in my high school, and two: I trip and fall over everything. I’m lying on the ground more than I am standing up on it. I trip so much that my cousin Jessica, who’s taller than me, says I trip over flat surfaces. Now that’s funny but when people laugh at me because of it it’s really hard to be confident.

During my freshman year in high school I was the only one in my seminary class that could play the piano. So my teacher told me to get a hymn ready so we could start class when he finished writing on the board. I was sitting in the front row because I couldn’t see over people’s heads- hence the short factor. So I got out of my desk to walk toward the piano and one of the straps of my back pack was caught underneath the leg of my desk and the other was wrapped around my foot. As I took a step, thinking I was walking toward the piano, I was suddenly looking at the multi-colored carpet on the floor. I heard an uproar of laughter from behind me. I was so embarrassed. I could feel my face turning red and I wanted to cry so bad that I was holding back the tears like a dam holds back water. It was in that moment when I wanted to run away that I realized I shouldn’t be embarrassed. I just need to accept how clumsy I am. So as I was lying face down on the floor I announced to the class, “Hey! I made a new friend.” This was hard to say because I had guys in the class that were the jocks and girls who were the popular ones in school. Not to my surprise everyone laughed harder with this announcement but I laughed with them and I didn’t care that people laughed and made fun of me anymore. By laughing at myself I had the confidence in my body that I had while I performed.

People still laugh at me every time I fall but I show them that it doesn’t matter. As long as I’m confident nothing else matters. When I fall I can always laugh at myself and believe me, I’m very confident that I’ll fall at least once a day. Besides, I’m short so I have a shorter distance to fall to the ground than someone who’s 6 foot 3 inches. I believe that being short and clumsy doesn’t affect the confidence you have in yourself but being able to laugh at yourself after you fall.

Did I forget to mention that being short means I have a wider range of guys I can date?