This I Believe

Katarina - Hot Springs, Arkansas
Entered on October 15, 2008
Age Group: Under 18
Themes: setbacks

Life is Unpredictable

“Life is unpredictable.” This is my favorite quote known throughout the world. You can’t predict who you are going to end up with or where you are going to end up at. You may have someone picked out to be with or a favorite place you want to live but, it’s not guaranteed such things will happen. Most predictions are made based on what you hope for, but life is not fair. We don’t always get what we want. Whatever happens; happens; it’s all unpredictable. Just think about this quote it’s very true.

I lived a harmful life. I was abused, neglected, and left alone. My parents did drugs, stole things, and were in and out of prison. I was not an only child so I had to play the role as a mother to my younger siblings (toddlers). One day I was staying at a family’s friend’s house and decided I had enough living a neglectful life. I decided to call the cops and tell them what I was going through. They showed up at the house and I began to tell them everything. All I wanted was the best for me and my sisters. Well, the decision was made that I would stay with the family friends until another placement was found. That was not the best decision seeing that I was abused and neglected all over again.

A couple months went by, and a new home was found. I was placed in another foster home with people in their 50’s. Everything was okay except the fact that I was walking into another strange place expecting to be abused all over again. I was wrong. I ended up staying at that home for three years. On December 15, 2001, I was adopted by a wonderful family. They ended up being the children of my last foster mom. I began to think my life was getting better.

I had many disagreements with my new family. I was a teenager and I wanted to do whatever I wanted. I was so used to doing my own things and being independent. The disagreements began to get very serious. It got to the point where I was told I was “worthless” and not a part of the family until I acted right. I then began to tell my new parents how much I hated them. Really inside I did not really hate them.

Arguments led to fights. I started to be a cutter, which led to running away and then attempting suicide. I was sent through several short term residential placements, until I was finally sent to the mental hospital. I was there for a month at the price of $1000/day. After a month, insurance stopped paying, so I had to leave. I was then sent back to short term placements. On May 25, 2007, I was on my way to a new long term placement, 8 hours from my home. At the beginning of my stay, I hated my parents. But now it’s a different story.

As you know, my life has been like a roller coaster, but I still made it through. I predicted that I was going to be beat for the rest of my life. I believe you predict based on what you hope for. But it doesn’t work like that; life is not fair. I have now been living in Hillcrest for one year and four months exact. Just remember “Life is unpredictable.” It’s true!!!