Everything Worth Living For

Devri - Rexburg, Idaho
Entered on October 14, 2008
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: family

Everything Worth Living For

All my life, I’ve been taught that your family should be your best friends. You should love them more than your “school” friends because when you’re older, they are the ones who stick around, not your “school” friends. I hated this phrase. Some mornings I would wake up, grateful for an escape route out of that prison, even if it did mean I had to go to school. Sometimes I would waste time after school so I wouldn’t have to go home. I just wanted to leave and get out of that place, live on my own and do whatever I wanted! That was until I left for good and now realize how much I have lost.

My younger sister and I would get into arguments and I always thought I was right. Even if I wasn’t, I wasn’t about to let her know that. I would call her stupid and dumb; I called her that all the time and she got to a point that she would start replying, “I know I am–thank you.” We would scream at each other, she always told mom exactly what I didn’t want mom to know, and I felt that since she was the youngest, everything happened because she was a spoiled brat.

When my brother, Jay, was home, I always felt like he and Calli would gang up on me. Other times, Calli and I were the victims. He would tell us we were stupid, and pick on us until we couldn’t help but start screaming and crying, begging him to leave us alone. As all siblings do, there was never a day when all five of us never fought, and that included the older ones, Trevor and Kajsa. We fought with our parents, we fought with each other, but we also fought with ourselves. Every time we got along, we always knew that in a minute or two, something would happen to make us mad, and we let it when it did happen. I couldn’t wait until I left the house, I hated conflict.

I left home excited but nervous to start my new life, make my own decisions, and rely on myself. But now that I am gone, it’s not my bed back home, or the fact that I didn’t have to buy my own food that I miss. It’s not the sunshine on our soft green lawn, or the peaceful countryside we live in, and it’s not my “school” friends that I miss, it’s my family. It’s my mom who cried over a barber-shop-chair when she left me because I was too selfish to wait for a haircut. It’s my dad who will sit on me and wrestle with me or let me karate-chop him in the stomach. It’s my brothers who try and tie me up as I jump on their backs and bite them in the neck. It’s my sisters who disagree with me, yell at me, and are also the best dance partners any one could ask for. This is what I miss.

As I sit in my apartment thinking about my life, I have finally realized that what I have been taught all of my life is true. My family is the best friends I have been waiting to have all of my life, and I know that they will always be there for me. I didn’t realize what I had, until it was gone from my everyday life.