steady dating

Michael - Idaho
Entered on October 14, 2008
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: love

Throughout my middle school and high school days I saw many examples of poor relationships between immature youth. I saw the pain each couple caused each other as they selfishly thought of themselves and not of the person they were dating. I never even needed to be told I shouldn’t date till I was sixteen. If you had asked me when I planned on dating I’d tell you I would start when I got back from my LDS mission. Girls were just friends to me and nothing more. And I believe that’s how I should have kept thinking.

I happened to forget one possibility in my calculations. Sometimes girls ask guys on dates. This happened sometime early my junior year. Paula and Emily asked Jarom and I out on a double date. The girls said they just wanted to get to know us better. That much is true in its own right, but their real goal was to see if Paula and Jarom had the right Chemistry.

Since Jarom was interested in Paula I focused my attention on Emily. I wanted both girls to feel that they got attention that night, so Emily was the obvious choice. This attention I paid to Emily eventually turned into my down fall. Soon after the date we started emailing each other several times a day to get to know each other. Then we started chatting for hours on end. I soon had to admit to myself that I was interested in Emily.

Doing what I thought I’d never do, I ask Emily out on a date. After this date came many more dates. I found myself in a very healthy relationship. I was happy for a good nine months. Our relationship was perfect, but we both knew it would have to end. I was going off to BYU-I a semester before she was and we both believe that long distance relationships don’t work. So the day before I left for Idaho we broke up.

Now Emily is just a good friend of mine that stay in contact with. It’s truly painful to see her just as a friend. That it has to remain that way for three years and even then there is no guarantee that we will get back together. I have the same fear Ender from Orson Scott Card’s novel Ender’s game has. “The most terrible thing, though, was the fear that the wall could never be breached, that in [her] heart [Emily] was glad of the separation”.

I believe that having relationships before a guy goes on a mission is too painful. Letting go is a difficult thing. I wish we could have just been friends. At least then she would not be glad of the separation.