Always Say I Love You
As a kid I never heard the words I love you. I never heard it when I got home from school and I never heard it before I went to bed. I mean don’t get me wrong my parents loved me and all but it was always implied and never shared out loud. My dad was stern and quiet and my mom was reserved and never wanted to make anyone feel uncomfortable. I guess their personalities were a reflection of why they never told me that they loved me, well at least not out loud.
Growing up in a setting where love was never mentioned made it awkward and uncomfortable for me when times came to show it. I began to leave the words “I love you” out in my relationships with people. I didn’t know how to show it or say it because I wasn’t used to it. It was a battle within me that I couldn’t seem to conquer when it came to actually saying I love you to those I loved.
About three months ago I found myself sitting at my grandpa’s funeral wondering when the last time I had said I love you to him was. I couldn’t think of a time. I knew that he understood I loved him but I had never expressed it. The importance that those words could have made in his life I can’t fully understand. I realized as badly as I had wanted to break free from my parents’ inability to utter those words I hadn’t.
As I sat quietly in the room where his casket laid I recall a flood of tears beginning to flow. Standing next to his casket I cried out the words, “I love you grandpa,” which were muffled by my sobs. I never told him while he was alive and now had lost my chance. I shouldn’t have left those words unsaid and hope that they were implied. That day I was grief stricken and heartbroken because of his passing, but that wasn’t what bothered me most. Always always remember to say I love you. You never know what that can do for someone’s life, for mine if made me realize the importance that love has in relationships. It can mean to world to the person you say it to.
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