“You can’t always get what you want,” This phrase was made popular by the band Rolling Stones, yet I feel like I live it every day. Whether getting what I want is material or mental, I feel like it is twice as hard for me to obtain it. I feel like my first effort is never good enough. I believe in fighting for what you want because my every wish was not handed to me on a “silver platter”.
Living in Oklahoma for more then half of my life was simple. The lifestyle never seemed driven by who has what, but by who you are. Whether it was young ignorance or middle class standard, it seemed like all of my friends and I were on the same level. Moving to Arkansas in the peek of my pre-teen years was quite difficult. I felt pressured to fit in by all and any means. All I really wanted was the acceptance from my peers.
While gaining acceptance was hard, I felt pressured to follow the norms, thus losing myself in a material world. This material world is made up of Coach purses and new BMW’s. This world was hard for me to fit into because of my family’s financial standing. We never starved or went with out electricity, but I never had the luxury of getting everything I wanted. So if I wanted these items, I could not just up to my parents and ask for cash. So to obtain all the so called “unnecessary items” I would have to work at a minimum wage job to afford them all.
With the fear of being an outcast lingering in my mind, I succumbed to the material pressures. Telling a friend that you can’t go to the movies because you have to save every penny to be able to afford the new trendy purse is so painful. That kind of experience gave me a feeling of a social leper.
All I really want in this life is to be accepted, but now I know that I don’t need to follow the trends to have great friends. The acceptance will come because people like me for my personality and not for what shoes I am wearing. Living in this world was always very difficult, yet now I know that is shaping me to be an accepting and focused individual, because I know I will have to fight for what I want.
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