I am a white mutt from the town of Boulder. Perhaps I fit the stereotype of counter cultural, or maybe it fits me. I wear a black all the time because I argue if you mixed all the dyes together it wouldn’t make a rainbow.
I’m only 21 at this point and my brain is I’m told not yet ceased it’s major growth and changes. I wonder sometimes if I’ve polluted or enhanced my body by putting things in it.
Certainly my search for truth is wider.
I grew up atheist. Scientific.
The search for truth by proof. I have come to think that things people hold true tend to be true enough for them. They create a model of the world based on what they can factor into it . When the perception seems true enough that they can safely filter out things that don’t work for it, then they can work. The ancient peoples believe that the world is made of words. Life is what you make it. When you explore the possibility of the quantum unified field as I do then this is true. Simultaneously contradictions to things held true can also be true. In this belief paralell lines may intersect. This may indicate a newer more bulletproof religion of sorts I follow as it says it’s true becuase the observer says it is so, as appose to god saying it is so. But I believe we are all god and or gods. So really it’s just a roundabout way to get to the same point. I believe that if something really is true, then it will be immortal, to be rediscovered all the time. The idea of an immortal soul is irrelevant to me. If there’s a ghost in the machine that survives the breakdown I believe it’s great for my search for truth as I find matter so limiting. What is matter? No mind. What is mind? No mind.
In the end though I find I can’t really believe anything. To believe something precludes you from believing it’s opposite. I believe the world is only shades of gray, we only percieve blacks and whites so the opposites are just opposite sides of the same coin. So they’re both right, and really both wrong. I believe it’s a cop out. I believe it’s the only truth. We are all children of the infinite because we are all infinite. I believe I would call this belief optimistic nilhilism. Nihilists believing in nothing and I myself believing in everything AND nothing.
Many people say you can’t have you cake and eat it too. I phrase that sentence as a question.
If you enjoyed this essay, please consider making a tax-deductible contribution to This I Believe, Inc.