I believe in forgiveness. Forgiving is accepting the sincerity of penance, sorrow, and regret expressed over a grievous personal offense; making it sufficient to clear the air. Growing up, I was always one to hold grudges. Not because it was childish, but because it made me feel I had the advantage over the other person. When someone did the smallest thing to me, I held that against them for the longest time. As a child, I thought it was ok to be upset and to be without loved ones. If they were going to hurt me, they didn’t deserve me. I wasn’t able to forgive because honestly at the time I didn’t know the definition of this word. When I was 18, I committed myself to a relationship with a man whom I love very much. This was the beginning of a fairy tale that I never wanted to end. We shared many times together and as time progressed I knew that this was the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Three months into our relationship, we struck an obstacle that could tear us apart forever. Infidelity took place and there was no way I was going to forgive this person because all I saw myself doing was resorting back to my childhood and holding a grudge against him for the rest of my life. I felt like the lowest person in the world like no one cared. I cried all of the time, stayed to myself and even lost weight. In addition to this, I was insulted by the woman that the infidelity took place with for several weeks after. I would get mysterious phone calls and many email messages saying that my boyfriend was doing the same thing and that nothing had changed. I believe forgiveness cleanses the soul and is soothing and quite liberating. It wasn’t quite clear to me at that point why I began to cry and realize that this conflict could be worked through with my strength and knowledge of knowing how to forgive but never to forget. Today, forgiving is a huge part of my life. It has led to feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion for my boyfriend because I love him so much. I realize that people are going to make mistakes and that everyone has the right to a second chance so in this situation I gave that second chance and made things right. I was able to untie myself from the thoughts of resentment and revenge. Even though during the time I felt worse than ever before. Being cheated on and lied to makes things sickening and makes u feel low, but after all is said and done, the love you have for that person gives you the courage to stand up and move on. Today this has made us so much stronger and able to move on and live a happier life. Forgetting is your commitment to let go of anger, hurt, and pain over this offense. Forgiveness is the key to how we all live and survive. It takes a healing process to get through something so huge such as infidelity. Life is too short not too let go of things like this and move on. I believe we should all take time to stop, think, and say, “I forgive you”.
Tangela - edwardsville, Illinois
Entered on October 8, 2008
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