This I Believe

Brianna - Lowell, Arkansas
Entered on October 7, 2008

Wow, I had finally reached 6th grade. When I had arrived at the classroom I found that there was only one of my few friends there, Ethan. My friends were limited because I didn’t really open up to people. Later, a girl, Kalee, started to talk to me, introduced me to her friends, and we had formed a group. The group included Kalee, Rachael, Kenzie, Ethan, Blair, and me. Everyone was part of the circle, but I let my insecurities get to me and was left on the outside. I stood there watching my friends make plans to go see movies, do activities together while I sat there wishing I had enough courage to say that I wanted to go. When we sat at the lunch everyone knew where to find me; on the very edge of everyone. As the year passed, I stayed the same. I was always the quiet, shy girl that had very talkative friends and a poor social life. All my friends were gregarious and the complete opposite of me. I thought that was all I could offer. So I enjoyed their presence and stayed in the background.

In seventh grade, we all got separated; we were all in different sections of the grade. I made new friends, but I never really loved them like I did the group from last year. I had tried to adjust to the new personalities, but I couldn’t. Yes, I could be a friend of theirs, but not a close friend. When I realized that I just couldn’t be away from my old friends any longer, I went and talked to my friend, Kenzie, who felt lonely like me and she shared my thoughts. Since we both had first lunch, while the rest of my friends had second, we agreed to go to their lunch. Once we arrived everyone was so happy, that we tried to do it as much as possible. Soon, we got in trouble because we weren’t going to the lunch we were suppose to. While I switched back to the right lunch, Kenzie still went to the other one. I stayed, followed the rules and I regretted every minute of it, even while I was doing it. About halfway into the year Kalee moved, a couple weeks before Christmas.

Kalee was and is a great friend. Even though I wasn’t close to her I still miss her terribly. I didn’t even know how much of an effect she had on all of my friends until she was gone. Since I was so insecure in sixth grade I hadn’t gotten close to her. Now that we are all separated and are only hanging onto each other through a phone, I see the opportunities I missed. I see them fly by me and I regret not doing anything about them when I could. I regret not showing everybody who I was and who I am. Be yourself before you don’t really have the chance to, this I believe.