Secret in the Dark

Blaine - Des Moines, Iowa
Entered on October 7, 2008
Age Group: Under 18
Themes: setbacks

I believe everybody should take every life lesson into account no matter what. It has been so long since my parents got divorced but every time I think of my mother all I see is an alcoholic. Now before I go on you have to realize that I loved her so much I thought she had never been drunk. The saying the closer you are the less you see applies here.

This all happened about two Christmas’s ago; I hated her so much for making me decide between her and my dad the way she did. She came home one day and I saw her just collapse on the ground like someone had pushed her. I ran over to her and tried to help her up but it was no use she was way too out of it. My dad came down stairs and asked if she had been drinking. She said no and started to cry. When he left she turned to me and said in her most sincere and innocent voice “don’t worry baby mommy wasn’t drinking you can smell my breath if you want to.” So I smelled her breath and nothing just minty fresh. Me being the stubborn little momma’s boy sprinted up stairs and told my dad that she hadn’t been drinking.

My dad decided to try and get me to see what kind of a person she was. He told me he would call the cops so she could be taken to a hospital and if I wanted I could stop him by hanging up the phone. I let him call and just stood there on the stairs waiting for it all to go down. My mom came slowly up the stairs and said I needed to move or she would knock me down the stairs. I laughed and said if she wasn’t drunk she could wait till the cops came to prove it, she went to grab me. I caught her arms and she started to cry saying all sorts of random things. In the end she had finally just sprawled on the bottom step in defeat till cops arrived. To make a long story short 0.48 BAC she should have been dead.

I haven’t seen her in almost 2 years now but don’t regret leaving. Why? Because every day now I can wake up look past this event and think about how much she taught me. The things she did were bad but she loved me and told me all the things she could about life. Thanks to my alcoholic mom I am a strong believer in no alcohol. She taught me that before I found out she was one. This isn’t so much a story about staying away from alcohol as much as it is a story about how you can find the best advice in the strangest and most unheard of places imaginable.