I was at a loss. I didn’t know what I was doing with my life. I didn’t know who my real friends were. I didn’t know who I was. I was at this supposed crossroad of going to a high school where I did not know anyone. I ended up finding some friends who had accepted me into their group. I hung out with them, but they tolerated me more than loved me. I found out that the key into that group of friends was a love for music.
My friends brought me into this underground world of heavy metal and rock. I did not know what to fully expect, but this idea of heavier music drew me in. It engulfed me in a passion that I have never felt before and I craved more of it. By a weird twist of fate, I had caught the last couple minutes of a music video that had enthralled me. They were different then all the other bands that I had heard. They had heavier drifts, screaming vocals, and I was consumed by them. The next day I went looking for the band: Bullet for My Valentine. After listening to the first couple of songs, I fell in love.
As the year went on I fell into a depression. I was dealing with a torn Acl, two suicidal friends, and more homework than I have ever had before. I had lost all of the control that I had. And I hated it. So I did the only thing I could; I clung to my music. All I would have to do was put on my headphones that were screaming my music and I would be somewhere else. I was in my own little world where a torn Acl wouldn’t matter, where my friends were safe, and most of all, a place where I did not have to worry about all the stress. Music was my safe haven, a place in my head where I could go that no one could harm me. It was a refuge where I could get lost in the rifts of the music and for a couple of minutes; I would be able to lose all my connections to the outside world.
I believe that music can heal the soul. Unfortunately, everything I was going through did not disappear. It only got worse, but music was there for me. Eventually one of my friends had to go to the hospital and my knee was not healing as planned. I knew that I could do nothing about my Acl but wait until it healed; I could not do anything about my friends but be there for them when they needed me. I was powerless. I did not like what was going on my in my life, but music was always there for me, just waiting to take me away. Music was and still is both my foundation and my sanctuary. It is what keeps me alive.
I believe that music heals.
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