I have only one philosophy of life and that is believing in the cookie monster. The cookie monster i’m talking about is not the large blue hairball of a puppet from Sesame Street; he’s a more like a little saying to help you go about life. He may seem as though he is a greedy little butt-face but in the long run he’ll save you. He’s not easy to go by, he has some rules: 1. Never take his cookies without asking. 2. Always say please and thank you when he gives you cookies. 3. Make sure your hands are always clean. 4. Never tell him he looks fat. If you follow theses rules he’ll give you all the cookies you could dream.
1. Never take his cookies without asking. Have you ever decided to just borrow something and you didn’t ask, I’ll give you some time to answer, well if you have you know you always end up on the short side and you get caught. The cookie monster won’t just catch you he’ll lay on the guilt trip, make poison cookies and feed them to your fish and put nasty almonds in a special cookie for you, and let me tell you crunch does not go with smooth. You must show some curtsey to the man-ster he’s merely here for some good ol’cookies.
2. Always say please and thank you when he gives you a cookie. We all were thought by our parents to say please, thank you, and excuse me right, well Mr. Monster hates it there is nothing he couldn’t stand more than a mean been. One day I forgot to say thank you after he gave me this yummy looking golden brown extra chocolaty cookie, and just before it entered my mouth he snatched it out of my hand and ate it, I didn’t mean to I was just so focused on that cookie, but for future reference take some time to appreciate and smell the cookies.
3. Make sure your hands are always clean. I know a few boys and girls that don’t wash there hands after there business, after touching a snail, and before eating there mealy cookie, and let me tell you it’s just disturbing how one can do that I mean what if you had just gone to the bathroom, number 2, and then started playing snails with you friends passing him along, and then you just when about you business eating that delectable cookie from cook, I’m sure wouldn’t be very great full and i’m sure it wouldn’t taste the same. So just make sure to keep it clean because if not Mr. Monster will hunt you down scrub you up, lather, rinse, and repeat.
4. Never tell him he looks fat. My mother, whose not a cook, always asks me “does this make me look fat” and I guess I wasn’t thinking it was one of those rhetorical sort of questions and so I said “Yes” she didn’t talk to me for about two hours, can you imagine if I said it to cookie man I would be cookie-less considering he’s the cookie monster and he makes all of his cookies. So just don’t ever say he looks fat believe me he’ll make you pay for it because he’s not one to mess with you unless you mess with him.
The message being sent in this would be: Be kind to the world, and like the cookie monster, it will reward you graciously.
If you enjoyed this essay, please consider making a tax-deductible contribution to This I Believe, Inc.