Many times I feel like giving up because of everything I have to make up for. I believe that making mistakes is a great way to pick yourself up and learn and maybe have a chance to do things differently if the first time came out bad. When I moved to Oregon 5 years ago I didn’t want to come up here. Leaving my friends and family back in California was something I didn’t want to do.
When I got here I felt like such an outcast because I did’t know anyone, I hated that everything around me was always green and boring. and I hated that I had to start all over again. I was so used to my lifestyle having different things going on at the same time and people out in their front yards talking among each other and laughing yelling at their kids to stay away from the cars passing by. Oregon to me seemed so boring.
I started high school here at Westview, and meanwhile back at home I was extremely rebelious. I wanted to start high school with my friends back at home. There wasn’t anything I could do anymore so might as well make the best out of it. I made a group of friends at school and some didn’t really help me make the right choices. I wanted to fit in, and that meant cutting class to go walk around the mall, get some Jamba Juice, walk around the park, or sometimes not even do anything at all. The only excitement was getting out of school without security catching us. The truth is that I loved the excitement, the rush through my blood trying to escape from somewhere I was supposed to be. Pretty soon skipping got easier and I wouldn’t skip to feel the rush, but to fit in with my friends and not feel left out.
I hung out with the wrong crew, and really slacked off in school, and just easily became a routine for me. The end of my freshman year when my report card came I saw my grades. I really wasn’t proud of them. One B the rest C’s or F’s and that’s how it was for my sophmore and junior year. At the end of each year my parents and I had “the talk”, but I really noticed that after my sophmore year they just gave up on me. Then one night the weekend after my junior year was over, my mom came into my room crying because she finished talking to my aunt in Mexico. My cousin was about to gradute from university and my aunt was extremely happy because her daughter was about to become a doctor, she felt really proud and thankful because she would be the first to finish university.
My mom really wanted to feel the same way but with the grades I was bringing home it was impossible to feel that way at all. She didn’t know how else to talk to me. All she asked for was for me to stay on track my last year and fix my regular old routine of skipping and not trying. She made me realize that her forcing me to come to school everyday wasn’t because it was something that would benefit her but in the long run it was going to benefit me. It broke my heart seeing my mom break down like that and I realized that I had no more room to slack off. This was my last year and my last chance to prove my mom that I can actually get on track. I’m not only doing it for me but because I want to feel that feeling of making both my parents proud of me. I’m still working on that, but I started off on the right track and I’m sure I’ll make it through.
I believe that people learn from their mistakes. With the courage of picking myself up and not giving up I can now say that I have future goals that I plan to accomplish and actually become someone in life.
If you enjoyed this essay, please consider making a tax-deductible contribution to This I Believe, Inc.