Mirrors Should be Small and Cloudy
I believe mirrors should be small and cloudy. You should not be able to see your reflection in a way that is clear enough for you to be critical. You should be able to look and make sure your skirt is not tucked into your pantyhose, you didn’t misalign your buttons with the buttonholes, and there is no spinach in your teeth . Other than that, no good can come from assessing how you look today. You look pretty much how you looked yesterday and pretty much how you’ll look tomorrow.
How many people do you know, over the age of 6, that look in a mirror and say, “God I look good!” I don’t know any. Yes they might say, “I look good in this color” or, “I love how these pants fit” but more often than not they say, “If I could just lose 10 pounds”, or “Why can’t my hair look like that shampoo commercial ?!”, or “When did I get so many wrinkles?” Rare is the person that walks away from the mirror feeling better than when they walked up to it.
As far back as Cleopatra women have tried to appear young looking. (Notice I said, “young looking”. No one actually wants to be 16 again, just look like they are.) The survival of the species depends on men choosing the most fertile women with whom to mate. You can’t fight evolution any more than you can fight city hall. So instead of fighting it, women try to trick those evolutionary male instincts. You use to be able to tell how old a woman was by her wrinkles, the stained teeth, the gray hair. For men the choice was easy. Now, go ahead Tom, Dick or Harry, just try and divine a woman’s age. With all the hair dye, face lifts, breast lifts, tummy ticks, Retin-A, Botox, micro-dermabrasion, liposuction, butt lifts, vagina tighteners (yes that’s what I said- google the Kegal Master 2000 and see for yourself) AND the twenty four billion dollars a year women spend on make-up, men haven’t got a chance. Women say they want a man who is honest, except when they ask the question, “Does this make me look fat?”
One day, at work, I was having a great day. I had finished this big project to great accolades from my boss. I was flying high. I went into the ladies room and looked in the mirror. All the air was taken out of my success. I looked awful, scraggily hair, tired eyes, wrinkly face – that’s what I saw anyway. Don’t we tell our children that true beauty is on the inside? How can they believe us? So when you add a mirror to your wall, don’t get the kind that has10 times the magnification. Don’t get the kind that has 5 different kinds of lighting. Don’t get the kind that shows all three views of you at once. Get a small and cloudy one, so you can see the real you, the important you, the one on the inside.
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