I don’t believe in good luck or bad luck. I believe that everything in life happens for a reason. The beginning of life is supposed to be colorful and vibrant. Growing up in a dysfunctional family I never really understood the meaning of life and how much it’s worth. I had a very strict father whose form of punishment was violent. Yet I grew up in a very loving culture and religion. I used meditation and prayer as a form of healing and strength.
At the age of seventeen, I remember my father being upset with me for talking back. He got a broom and tried to hit me with it. I grabbed it, threw it down and looked at him straight in the eyes. After that incident he never laid a hand on me. Eventually, he started meditating to help him relax.
At the age of twenty three, I got married to a man my father had introduced me to. It was a very rocky relationship. When he slapped me the first time, I was extremely upset. I couldn’t believe I still took him back. He wanted to have a baby, but I wasn’t convinced it was a good idea. I thought that this might bring out his softer side, so I agreed. A few months later I was pregnant. The good news didn’t have an affect on his violent behavior. I was reminded of my parent’s relationship and how my father would beat my mother. I saw my father in my ex-husbands eyes and my mother in mine. I decided I couldn’t live like this anymore. I left him and ended up having a miscarriage.
Everything happens for a reason. This was the first time I saw tears in my father’s eyes. He came to me sobbing and said, “Please forgive me, it’s all my fault. I shouldn’t have introduced him to you.” I gave him a hug. This was the first hug we had ever shared. He was really remorseful and I forgave him. I thought to myself, if I hadn’t married maybe we wouldn’t have shared this moment.
Months went by and I was headed to the court house to pick up my divorce certificate. At the court house, I ran into an old classmate of mine. We started talking and she told me that her boyfriend was abusive. She couldn’t leave him because she was scared to be alone. I told her it’s better to be happy alone than unhappy with someone.
Things always happen for a reason. If I hadn’t experienced my previous marriage, I wouldn’t have been able to meet this girl and help her with her relationship. I now see color and vibrancy. I am a happily married woman who finally knows what living is really about and how much it’s worth. I wouldn’t be who or where I am in life today without all these lessons.
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