The Truth Beneath

Rund - Lagrange Park, Illinois
Entered on September 28, 2008

The Truth Beneath

This past summer I had planned to wear a headscarf to school this year. What went wrong was the people I was surrounded by, not my family, but my friends. My purpose of this summer was to train myself to wear the scarf. Of course as you see me now, my friends are the ones who turned me around and I regret hanging out with them because they changed my plans of having an inspirational summer.

Now I struggle day-by-day trying to accomplish my goal of becoming modest, everyday I must face the sight of people dressed the way they think is right, and I have to follow what I think is right and just ignore it. It’s not as easy as you may think. In their short mini skirts and low cut tank tops, some people think they need to do this to get attention. And to top this off, after seeing so much, there is even more to hear, who did what with who and what the next plan is to do this and that with so and so. It hurts me to see so much when I’m trying to turn around and go in a whole other way. I believe that all of this is just a way to create stories and gossip, to keep our lives busy with one thing while something else goes on that the rest of us are unaware of.

I believe that to go through life with out being humiliated, and hurt deeply, we should be modest of our looks, beliefs and surroundings. What changed my thoughts about life was when I attended Arabic school and saw how much people care about their religion, it just turned my perspective of life 180 degrees and I’ve been thinking about it ever since.

I would rather wear long sleeves and pants with the headscarf proud to be who I am than walking around school with a low cut shirt and shorts knowing everyone is looking at me for my looks, not my beliefs. I’ve spent a very long time convincing myself that I should do it soon, but every time I come close to doing so, something distracts me. I just need one small push, which I think will do. It’s not going to be the first time that I’ve ever worn a headscarf, I wear one every Saturday when I go to teach at my Arabic school, I also put one on when I go to the mosque because I need to be modest.

I believe that it’s everyone’s choice around me what he or she wears and he or she can make whatever choice they wish, which is their own decision. But I know that I’m not going to see through to my thoughts unless I really work hard to become true to myself, which is part of life that everyone should be focused on at some point in time.