Living Life The Way I Want

Jaimie - Willow Springs, Illinois
Entered on September 28, 2008

Life is a mystery, a really strange mystery that no one has ever been able to solve. In life, there are problems, strange situations, and the every day pains. In my life, I think I can say, I’ve gone through a lot. I always get the one question people ask me or I even ask myself: What’s wrong with you? A lot of times I can give a smart-aleck answer of: a lot of things. But today I know there’s nothing wrong with me. I grew up in the city, but I went to a catholic school. My parents never tried to get me involved with activities outside of school. I did the occasionally ballet, tap, gymnastics, and even swimming. But my parents always made me focus more towards my culture. Everywhere I went, I always wanted to be the best, so I took what people thought of me and that made my goal to be better next time. Going to a catholic school the 30 kids that I went to kindergarten with, I was always with them, for every class, for every subject, until I left that school. So everyone knew your issues, there were no cliques or groups; there was only that one group, your class. And in every class there is always those popular kids and the losers; well I was always that loser in the class that always got picked on. But no matter what, I always still cared about what those kids thought of me, because I thought that if I could take that and change it, more people would like me. So eventually when I moved, I learned the truths of the world. I got exposed to everything; it was like I got another chance at life. But I still wanted that constant approval from everyone that I was ok, that I wasn’t a loser. I continued to struggle, to the point where I just got so frustrated I gave up. I gave up on trying, I gave up on wanting to get the approval I thought I needed. I gave up on wanting to keep going. Eventually I shut everything out, and I attempted to contemplate on what I wanted. Obviously I got it, because here I am today saying that I believe in living life the way I want to. Because it will never matter what other people think. There will always be those people that have something to say. It all just comes down to the point where you have to decide what’s best for you.