I Believe In Love

Catilin - Inman, South Carolina
Entered on September 25, 2008
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: family, love, setbacks

I Believe in Love

When you think of love what do you envision? Love is a quality everyone posses in some way. Jesus is the one who put love into our hearts; we are supposed to love like he loves. Many people have forgotten how to love. Whether it is loving a person or an animal every living thing needs love. I try to love everyone equally and as humans, it is hard for us to love everyone without judgment. Humankind has become mean over the years. It took 911 for the United States to turn back to God and back to each other. It seems as if we do not care anymore. I believe in the love of God and two people, a theme of life simply forgotten by the world as a whole.

Love is not exactly a concrete theme. So much can come out of a four letter word. Simplicity of love as been forgotten, it really is not hard to love a person. We just make it hard on ourselves because we do not know how to forgive like we are suppose to. We judge a person to quick and then we forget about the feeling they have and we make them feel like they are not welcome. I believe in love because of the childhood I had. My parents divorced when I was eight. At that time I really did not know what was going on but I knew it was not right.

I moved with my mother to South Carolina after my parents divorced. After awhile she got remarried and when I first met this man I thought he was good for my mother. And I was going to try to love him just like we are suppose to as humans and as a Christian. He did everything right, he would help my mother and me out when it came to cleaning house. But soon everything changed and I did not know what to do. This man would soon become my enemy. But no matter what I would try to love him to the best of my ability. My grandparents have basically been my parents except for my mother. They cared for me when my father did not want anything to do with me. Little did I know after she got married the men in my life would soon want nothing to do with me.

I struggled mostly with myself because I thought it was my fault. My step-dad said he was preparing me for the “real world” but there is only so much I could take. I started to hate him and would fight back with him every time he called me a name. I was ready to defend myself with everything I had. My father would soon become interested in the women he married and soon would stop calling my sister and me altogether. My mother tried her best to be a mother and father to me. But I needed more and all throughout teenage life until sixteen I would struggle with wanting a father figure in my life. Soon my life would change more than I ever expected.

My junior year in high school would become the best year of my life. I had to start working when I turned sixteen. I started working at Bi-lo the first day school started. When it came to boyfriends I never really had one or wanted one at that, I just thought they were not worth the trouble. Two months passed and they hired a new cashier. I thought he was really cute but also out of my league. I did not know much about him but I knew that we went to the same high school. I broke the ice between us when I walked up and started bagging for him and I said hello. We were really busy that night after that so we did not get to talk much after that. I really did not think much about me talking to him that night because I just thought he was too good for me. The next day at school would change my outlook on life and the way I felt about men.

Terry Jarvis was the guy’s name. The next day started out normal but when lunch time rolled around my life took a change for the better. At lunch Terry came up and hugged me, I did not know what to think. After lunch was over he walked me to my last class. He would continue to have lunch with me and walk me to class. People started asking me if we was going out and I really did know what to say so I asked him what I was suppose to say to these people when they asked me this question. So he asked me out and we started dating. I thought we would only last a couple of weeks because he was a football player and knew all the preppie kids. Now is has lasted for two years and we are currently engaged. He does not take the place of me missing a father figure but he has been the one that as loved me no matter how crazy my ideas was. He was the shoulder that I would come to lean on when I need to cry.

Terry and I have had a lot of the same experience, like our dads wanting nothing to do with us. We have experience some bad times together too. We have come close to giving up on our relationship. I knew he was the one for me and that I would always love him no matter what happened to us. We spend a lot of time together and he is currently trying to teach me about drag cars. I love to learn about new thing, especially what he likes to do. We love every minute of it and finally I got to feel like a teenager again. He is the one man that did not run and hide when I needed him the most.

The reason I believe in love is because so many people are giving up so easily. So many people are calling their marriage to an end because they have so much to do and the love of their life get tired of waiting on them. I started believing in love again because of the way Terry treats me and how I just feel so comfortable being around him. Terry and I have went through some bad times just like a married couple and people think we do not know what we are doing but we really do. I had to grow up really fast and I know what the “real world” is all about. We just chose not to give up so easily like the rest of the world. People are the ones who chose to give up on their marriage.

Love may not happen for you yet but it will come along, you will feel it and know that it is right. I knew God bought Terry into my life to show me what love and happiness is all about. But I was not willing to give up even when Terry was not in my life. When rough times appear for you, you have to learn to work through them and not give up so easily. Because then you start to questioning yourself with what might have been. Love is given up on so quickly and we are so quick to just let in disappear. Everyone needs love through Jesus and a person and I found my love and I am not willing to give up. I believe in love between two people and the love of God two types of love we need. It seems as humans all we know how to do is run from what scares, instead of facing our fears and knowing there is something better waiting on all of us in the end.