The Microsoft Word cursor blinks at you mockingly. You want to type something brilliant. It’s not exactly happening. The clock at the bottom of your desktop is pushing 11 PM. You hope that cursor dies. Or you do. Whichever comes first. I believe in writer’s block and that it is never a good thing; much like death, it answers to a variety of aliases, “the very bane of my existence,” being one of them. It was especially problematic as far as this whole “I believe” business was concerned; in fact I was semi-seriously considering throwing myself off of my own roof, so as to avoid the whole agonizing process. As you can probably tell, I’m not a dramatic person in the least. I only reconsidered at the fear of being discovered by neighbors in a mangled heap the next morning, wearing nothing but my owl pajamas, which say repeatedly and all too legibly, “I am a hoot! I am a hoot!” Now, that’s the way to go. Not to say that I didn’t totally and completely love writing this speech…not at all. It would have just been slightly more enjoyable had I not been totally blind-sided by the true horror that is…writer’s block. Many have suffered its effects, but few have survived. You infrequently hear of honest civilians dying of it, mainly because it’s not as impressive to put into an obituary, as it is to say someone has kicked the bucket at the hands of a fully-fledged mafia gun-down. Nevertheless, I am living proof that writer’s block exists; to be sure, on more than one occasion I have actually managed to only complete a single paragraph over the span of six hours. So, that being said I have the authority to declare that if a certain amount of effort is applied, it can be bested. I did after all (God willing) manage to complete this 300-400-word spiel. All it took was about ten times the usual effort. I would very much like to believe that it was worth exerting myself for those tedious hours of hopelessness and self-reflection. But truth be told, the only thing that I’m entirely convinced of is the undeniable reality of writer’s block: that it exists, but is very survivable. Evidently.
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