I belive in leaving an abusive relationship

sabrina - Eloy, Arizona
Entered on September 22, 2008
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: family, setbacks

I believe in leaving anabusive relationship. The worst day of my life and what I thought was going to be my last day on earth. It happened about a year ago when I was sevenmonths pregnant and living withthe father of my child. It was the day my ex boyfriend tried to kill me.

The day was like no other. My boyfriend at the time had already been gone for about three hours. When he walks through the door I say hi. I try to hug him as he walks past me like I don’t even exist. He asks “have you done the dishes like I told you to.” I look down because I knew I hadn’t done them yet. I answer “no.” He starts yelling and cursing at me. The things that he says are harsh and I start to cry, not knowing this is the least of my worries. I try to walk away from him. As I walk to my room to try to escape his evilness. He follows taunting me like a third grade bully. I could tell things were starting to escalate. The next thing you know he starts pushing me and throwing things at me. Then he grabbed me, threw me on the bed, and started choking me. I started to scream and kick. Looking at him was like looking at a stranger. He had so much hate and anger in his eyes that I didn’t even recognize him.

He picks me up and shoves me to the ground on to my stomach and gets behind me, wrapping his arms around my neck so tight I almost pass out. I remember him whispering in my ear “you don’t deserve to have my baby. You are a worthless b****. My daughter doesn’t want you to be her mother so I’m going to do us both a favor and kill you. Its okay nobody will miss you. They won’t even notice you’re gone.

I felt sick to my stomach. I couldn’t believe this was happening to me. How could he do this to me and to my unborn child? Every second that I wasn’t getting oxygen she wasn’t either. As I sat there begging him to stop my hands were shaking uncontrollably. He thought it was funny to see me scared. I felt helpless. So I started to pray “God please get me out of this. Please let me live. Just please make him stop. I wanted to tell him how much I hated him, and how much of a coward he was for doing this to me and a few other wordsthat I would rather not say outloud, but all I could say was “I love you. I need you. I can’t live without you. I’m sorry for whatever I’ve done” Just to try to save my life. I kept repeating it over and over.

About after two hours of slapping, kicking, punching, and chocking me he just stopped. He got up and told me not to call the ambulance or anyone else or that he’d give them a reason to come. I could barely move and I was so scared of what might have happened to my daughter. I laid there exhausted from everything that had happened that day and I thought, I can’t do this anymore. I need to get out because if I didn’t he’d eventually kill me.

Two days later I was on my way back to Arizona. No more pain, frustration, orfear. Thiswas something tramatic in my life. I’m just glad I had the strength to getout and get past it. I still have trust issues and I have mild anxiety. However, I’m glad to be here to live a happy and safe life with my daughter. I believe in leaving an abusive relationship, don’t you?