Never Give Up Hope

Jenny - Allendale, Michigan
Entered on September 21, 2008

Never Give Up Hope

I believe in God and the many gifts we are blessed to receive from him. It is difficult to see how thankful we should be to God when we are struggling with our faith and religion. It is not easy to believe in him when nothing in your life seems to be going on track. These were the feelings and thoughts going through my mind until recently. I will be honest; when times are rough I struggle to see how any good can come of a situation, and if God is really up there.

My confusion with life and myself truly began when I came to college at Grand Valley. I did not know anyone and thought only good can come of this new situation. I envisioned new friends and a welcoming new environment. For the first couple of months at college this bliss lasted. I was meeting new people (as were all freshmen) and adjusting to a new setting miles from home. As the newness wore off I began to wonder if I made the right decision to come to a school all on my own far from home. I wonder whether God has something in store for me at Grand Valley or if I was meant to transfer back home. I could not clearly determine what I was meant to do and which path was right for me. My struggle with faith and being grateful rose up and tested me.

I choose to stick out my troubles and stay at Grand Valley. Things worsened though my sophomore year and I hated waking up in the morning. I was too unhappy to see anything exciting or important in my future (which at twenty was a lot). I could not understand why I still believed in God when he was clearly not helping me out.

At the beginning of my junior year I came to a realization, not quite an epiphany, although I do hope I have one someday. I realized that no one was going to help me, not even God. Of course he was going to guide me but it would be up to me to make my experience and life a happy and fulfilled one. Why at twenty did I not realize this? Why had it taken me days of longing and unhappiness to see a simple conclusion? I do not know the answer myself but I do know my life changed. I joined clubs on campus and got involved at my school. I formed a variety of friends whom I fill my free hours with. I realized and felt what it was like to belong to somewhere other than my hometown. Therefore, I can say I believe in God and as of recently (but certainly not too late) I believe in taking initiative.