Unconditional Love

Blair - Coolidge, Arizona
Entered on September 19, 2008
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: family, love, setbacks

I wasn’t able to chose who my father was, but the way he has treated me throughout my life I feel like he wishes that he could’ve picked who I was and how I turned out. I believe that parents should love their children unconditionally.

Growing up I felt like everything I did wasn’t good enough even though I wanted to be just like him and tried everything to please him. We are just alike, stubborn and always have to have the last word, but it made it tougher for us to get along. As long as I can remember we have argued and disagreed about everything, but after everything I still idolized him and looked up to him.

During my teen years is when my dad and me really butted heads it was miserable. He didn’t agree with the boyfriend that I had chosen, I was only in eighth grade, he called me names and kept yelling and yelling once again I had disappointed him. After that I was tired of doing my best and just getting put down for it so we didn’t really speak as much.

A year and a couple months after this incident my mom decided to move out and wanted a divorce, me and my sister moved out as well. During this time period I would go visit my dad and I had never heard him say I love you so much in my life he had lost us and realized it and was willing to do anything to get us back, but that would soon change.

The next few years, my dad and I drifted apart he had gotten a girlfriend, Antoinette, and didn’t need me for comfort anymore I was shocked and couldn’t imagine my dad with another woman, he didn’t understand how I felt, which was another argument and more drifting apart we never got along or agreed which made it easier not to talk.

He soon was engaged to his girlfriend I was in amazement I didn’t know what to do. He had gotten her a ring for Christmas, didn’t say anything about getting married until one day in march when he told me “we set a date for the wedding” I didn’t say anything I just acted like I knew, but was frustrated with him because he didn’t tell me before. I couldn’t deal with it I was so stressed and upset. It was the day that I was losing sleep over, and that I had been dreading for weeks. My dad was getting remarried. I like his girlfriend, but couldn’t bare to see him marry a woman that wasn’t my mother.

I decided that I had to get it over with and tell him that I couldn’t do it. While I was driving to my dad’s house I could feel my stomach turning upside down, so many thoughts running through my head, and not knowing how it would turn out. Finally I arrived to the house and went inside he and his fiancé were sitting in the living room. I sat down and told him that I was sorry and that I couldn’t go to the weeding because it was too difficult. Immediately I started crying because I truly did feel terrible. He didn’t understand so we were arguing back and forth. His fiancé jumped in and started telling me how much of a terrible person I was which made the situation worse. Finally I couldn’t take the arguing anymore so I left, after that my dad didn’t speak to me for months, didn’t even call me on my birthday or come to my graduation I felt like he didn’t want me anymore and that he had a new family and forgotten about me.

Unconditional love is when you love someone no matter what mistakes they make or what they do to you you’ll still love them as much as you did before.

My father doesn’t show me that he loves me no matter what I do. I believe that your children deserve all the love you can give them. You can’t change the mistakes they may make just be there for them when they do and help them through it.