I believe in the decision of marriage. As a newlywed, people talk of being in a ‘honeymoon phase’; the phase of enjoying one another more than you will later in life. I believe that there should be no such thing as a honeymoon phase. Marriage is a choice. It is a choice to be happy and content with one another, even when it is not easy.
My husband is my best friend. We make each other laugh; we enjoy spending our time together, and respect our time a part. His dreams are my dreams, and mine are his. These are compromises and resolutions that should be discussed long before the choice to devote yourself to one person for the rest of your life.
I am twenty three years old, and my husband is twenty two. The number of times we have heard, ‘oh my god, you are so young’ or witnessed the facial expression that states the same opinion is more than I can count. And above all things that makes me heart-wrenchingly angry, is when people can look me or my husband in the eye and tell us, with or without words, that they think our decision to love one another for the rest of our lives is ignorant or idealistic. A good marriage; strong in ideals, values, and respect is neither ignorant nor idealistic. It is knowledgeable and practical. This view does not take the romance out of a relationship; it instead enables a couple to keep the lines of communication open so the romantic flame can continue to burn.
The two of us had to be sure that we were ready for a marriage that we both believed would be in the eyes of God and a permanent foundation for our lives. I needed time to think about the flaws and accept that I could not change them. I had to take the time to think about my future and how my life could change. I decided that to marry my college sweetheart and grow with him was the best decision of my life, because he completed me, flaws and all. We decided to make our marriage work before we were married.
Marriage is not a business agreement, nor is it simply fate. When two people love one another, of any gender, and choose to make a commitment, it is a shared belief that a conscious love conquers all. I believe in my marriage, and I believe in its purpose. I believe in the connection of sharing a family name. I believe in faith, hope and love. And this, I believe, will never be idealistic.
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