I Believe Death can Change People for the Better
I believe death can change people for the better. Whether it’s getting a new job or achieving a goal that has been strenuously pursued, people die. As you reach that turning point and move from being who you were to whom you want to be, you die. It’s a matter of leaving something behind in order to make better what you are now. In my lifetime I’ve died millions of times and with each death I’ve grown strong as a person.
The most extraordinary demise of all took place during high school. I had decided to take an Advance Placement English class during my junior year. At this time I already doubted myself because within the year before I had failed miserably in my Advance Placement World History class. I lacked confidence in my ability to write and I was very intimidated by the teacher, who seemed to be bipolar and extremely pompous.
Pushing past these realizations, I entered the class with my head held high and was immediately shot down with my first failing paper. It didn’t stop there either. Paper after paper came back with ones, twos, and occasional threes. It seemed like no matter what I did I couldn’t make those numbers disappear. I began to blame the teacher and ridicule his teaching style. Then I began to ridicule my mother for not giving me words of courage and hope when I needed it. From all directions I was being told that I couldn’t do it and soon I began to believe it. I was defeated.
It wasn’t until towards the end of second semester, when I finally received my first six that I decided to try again. There was a new confidence that came around that made me realize how weak a person I was to allow a few failures to tear me down. I pushed forward. I wanted to be someone who at least tried their hardest to reach a new level of personal strength.
As the days towards the exam drew few we took our last in class Advance Placement English exam. I scored a two on overall performance. It wasn’t the best but at least it was better than the one that I began with. When the official exam came along I took it with all the confidence that I could muster. As time passed through the summer I had received a phone call from my teacher and he told me, “Congratulations Lesley, you passed the A.P. exam.”
It was unbelievable. I will never forget that moment. Those words marked an end to a new beginning. I threw away all of my self-doubt. I died that day and became someone that I never thought I could be. Now I never fear death; I welcome it with open arms.
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