“He who knows best, knows how little he knows.” ~ Socrates
As a confirmed Catholic turned Atheistic LaVeyan Satanist turned Agnostic Taoist, I hold many beliefs. Why, you might ask, would a good catholic boy invert his religion as I have? Well, what good is any religion if it shuns scrutiny and even question asking? I was forced to go through the hoops the fine penguins asked me to only after being threatened with expulsion. My question-asking days were through. So for my mom, I did as I was told and resented every second of it. So during my last year of Confirmation (I really don’t remember what I was being confirmed of), I sought out the Satanic Bible.
I was surprised to see that it was no religion at all it is a philosophy based on self-preservation. From this I learned to take complete personal responsibility and I became determined to better myself for myself not for anyone else. Also, I learned to appreciate, not be embarrassed by or ashamed of the one thing I have no control over, my human condition. The church, it seems, hates the fact that we are only better than common beasts in the regard of actually enjoying sex and our verbal and intellectual prowess.
Satanism helped me through a tough time when I found comfort in drugs and alcohol. I pitied myself and my dire situation pertaining to my parents divorcing. The lessons I took from the “evil” book helped me become a more self-reliant, fervent and disciplined seeker of knowledge. I also accepted any defeats as my own shortcomings and learned from them. With the Christian blinders off I was well on my way for spiritual discovery.
I knew of the yin-yang years before as a cool symbol that represented the balance between light and dark. I felt in many ways, that this was my natural spiritual progression. Having been a Christian for many years than changing gears to Satanism, I felt like my life was in fact a balancing act between the two. Taoism is the philosophy that I try to adhere to in the present day
So after all that what is it that I believe? I believe that practicing humility, compassion, and moderation leads to less stress and less conflict in my life. I also believe that life is far too long and precious in the immediate to live selfishly and far to short and insignificant in the grand scheme to not find ones self and be comfortable in one’s own skin. I believe that I am ever evolving, ever learning and always humble to the fact that all that I know is based on perception and trust that those who teach me learned well from their teachers and so on. Until I perish I hope to remain open-minded to all and never discount any moment, for this universe is too old and expanse and we are so infantile. To think we’ve figured it out is absurd.
If you enjoyed this essay, please consider making a tax-deductible contribution to This I Believe, Inc.