Once upon a time there was a writer who swore that sarcasm was the best tool he had as a writer. Oh wait, it still is my best tool. Sure some of you are turned off by my sarcasm, but girls are the same way about my goatee. I haven’t shaved lately so I don’t think sarcasm is leaving my papers soon either. Okay, okay I am getting to it, I believe that sarcasm is the only way I can express my views when writing. Phew, that takes a lot of effort to be serious.
I have been told that no one will take you seriously if you don’t lay off the sarcasm. Who cares! I hate reading papers that are monotone. Today I am going to tell you about facts…blah…blah. After that, a medieval torture chamber sounds like a day spa. I think if you cannot be yourself (no matter how dumb or demented you are) you should not write. Yes Dr. Blankenship I used the word you because I tried other forms and it sounded really dumb. Sorry! Anyway, I believe that a reader cannot connect to a writer if the writer is pretending to be someone they are not. Anyone can bluff the reader and come off sounding like Jefferson ( who made a terrible grammatical error in the Declaration of Independence ). It’s really hard to be yourself, but it is worth it. Honest to God ( if there is one ) you will enjoy writing so much more if you can be yourself. Even if you are the sarcastic type.
For those of you who are pulling your hair out because you cannot take anymore stupid ( that is what most people call me), I really do apologize. NOT! I think you deserve to be put through this little chore. After all it is probably payback for all the boring, long winded, educational ( I shudder to think about what your fiction papers would sound like) papers.
For those of you that agree with me, thank you. I really look forward to meeting one person who gets a good chuckle out of this. Laughter ( even a giggle ) is good for the soul ( no matter how black it is ) so let it out. You will feel better… Maybe… Then again… By now some of you are probably weeping ( It‘s ok really ).
Give sarcasm a try. It helps you alienate people and lose friends. If you have any. ( Oh sorry, went a little far with that one. )
For the blondes who don’t understand, the stuff in parentheses is sarcasm. Get it!…wait for it… almost… oh never mind!
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