Can relationships ruin friendships? Unfortunately, this is something I had to learn the hard way when I was in high school. Throughout all my high school years I was going out with this guy named Nathaniel, and we dated for four years and four months. In all those years I lost various friends because I kept making the mistake of always taking my boyfriend’s side even though I knew he was wrong and they were right. Due to this I believe faithfulness, trust, and respect are the crucial points in a relationship.
“Nathaniel is cheating on you!” That was the first statement I heard come out of my best friend Mario’s mouth. I felt shocked, cold, and a big knot in my throat. As soon as I was able to get the words out of my mouth I asked, “What are you talking about?” It was then when Mario told me that my boyfriend was cheating on me with a girl from school. He told that my boyfriend and this girl from school had been seeing each other for a while now behind my back. Mario started telling me where and when my boyfriend and that girl saw each other and it all started to make sense with the way my boyfriend had been acting with me lately. I couldn’t and did not want to believe it, but I knew it was true because he had already cheated on me with her in the past. I then started crying, my eyes started getting puffy, and my make-up started to smear, and my face was red. I was so upset I did not know what to do. We decided to sit in the cafeteria and kids were just passing by staring at me because of how upset I looked which made me feel worse. As soon as the bell rang for the next period to start I went looking for my soon to be ex-boyfriend. There he stood waiting for me by the bleachers in front of the school store where we always met this hour. Trust was something that just kept running through my mind over and over; how could I be so blind?
“We need to talk,” I said. “What’s wrong is everything ok?” Is what he answered. I then started asking him if everything my best friend had told me was true. At first, he did not know what to say, whether to look at me or not, or how he was going to get out of it. After a few seconds of silence he looked at me and started denying everything making up story after story to try to justify where he had been and with whom. When his stories weren’t matching up, and he kept changing stories I knew then and there that he was lying to me. I felt so disappointed, confused, insecure, and heartbroken. I then realized I could not trust him, but I had been so blinded by his false love that I trusted him no matter what. Boy was I wrong. It was a terrible feeling, and even though I knew he had done what he did I was so in love with him that I acted like I believed him and stayed with him. I felt like he was the one for me and that I couldn’t be without him. He ended up giving me the choice of either stop talking to Mario or being with him. Being the dumb in love, very young, and vulnerable teenager, I listened and lost my best friend for a guy who did not give me the respect I deserved. Respect should be crucial in a relationship because without respect there is nothing. When someone really cares for you they will respect you for who you are, not how they want you to be.
“If you don’t stop talking to him I’m going to leave you.” That was the way my boyfriend got me to stop talking to my best friend. Threats are never good in a relationship no matter how big or small they may be. I felt very angry at him for putting me in this situation. How could he make me choose between my best friend and him? It really hurt me and made me feel guilty because I knew that all my friend was doing trying to do was look out for me.
Mario and I had been best friends for about four years now, and it was hard to just not be friends. I would see him across the halls at school and I would have to put my head down because I did not have the guts to look at him in the face after the way I had treated him. He lost his respect for me because I put my boyfriend before him. My boyfriend did not respect the fact that Mario was my best friend and had me stop talking to him. I did not demand the respect I knew I needed because I was afraid of losing Nathaniel. This was a very big mistake that I made and regret so much. Mario and I will never be the friends we once were, and all because I did not demand the respect I deserved, and I let love get the best of me.
Thus I believe now that relationships can ruin friendships if you allow them to. No matter how tough life may be never let anyone make you do something you do not want to. It will be hard but every good thing requires big sacrifices. God will never give you a task that he does not think you are strong enough to overcome. I lost a few more friends that same way and always ended up either staying with Nathaniel or getting back with him. Therefore, I think faithfulness, trust, and respect are very important for any relationship. The friends I lost were very dear to me, and I regret putting a guy before any of them. This is a mistake I have learned from, and will not make again. I became friends with the individuals once again; however this time was nothing like the first time. Never put a guy before your true friends because if he really cares and loves you like he says he won’t put you through that situation. A man who loves and cares for you will accept you with the friends, family, customs, etc. that he met you with, and not try to make you someone he wants you to be. You need to stay faithful to one another, trust and be trusted, never lose respect for one another, and most of all don’t let false relationships ruin friendships.
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