At the young age of sixteen, I remember feeling as if my life had come to an end. I also remember the perfect beginning of this life; fresh into my fifteenth year. I am talking about the first time I fell in love. My first serious relationship: my love, best friend, world, life; my everything. Now, I realize that nothing should be my everything.
I had never felt such joy, acceptance, love, and comfort with the opposite sex before. I craved his company, and I would feel hatred towards my parents when they would keep us from each other. I didn’t know what to do with myself when we weren’t together. He became much like an addiction in my life.
Our relationship- filled with love, passion, and battles became a very unhealthy, unrealistic obsession. Everything that was part of my old life, I gave up. I stopped hanging out with my friends, I stopped going to church youth group, I constantly fought with my family, I didn’t participate at school or in school activities. Each moment I spent with him, or wishing nothing more than to be with him. I depended on him for my happiness, and eventually, I depended on him to remind me of who I was.
Fights became more frequent, and eventually we ended our relationship. That’s when that life ended- sixteen, alone, heartbroken, and ashamed. What was I to do? My life—my ex boyfriend—left me. Everyone that I once had in my life had left, because I neglected them during my relationship that I proclaimed to be more valuable than them. I had no idea where to begin to pick up the pieces of myself, and relationships.
Gradually, over time, things got better, as they always do. I do not regret the relationship that I had. It has changed who I am for the better, strengthened my character, and my beliefs.
I believe you should never depend on someone for your happiness. It’s unreasonable, naïve, and unfair to the other person. Since that breakup, I have started a new life. I don’t take friends and family for granted. I have a strong self identity, which I know and build every day. I will love myself more than anyone else. I am belittling falling in love. I just advise to anyone, and have taught myself the hard way- to be smart when it comes to love. Never give someone power over your life. Create morals and values for yourself that you will not change for anything or anyone. Overall, know and love yourself.
I am a strong, independent woman and I am proud of who I have become. I know who I am, and what I want out of life. I will never lose sight of that…again.
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