the fire with in

Cori - Auburn, California
Entered on September 12, 2008
Age Group: Under 18

I had just got off work and was having an ok day and all the sudden I have a voicemail from my brother X girlfriend. By now I’m already home getting ready to hop into the shower and go out with some friends, my brother look like he is sitting on the coach sleeping. But No I get this message and come to find out my brother is passed out on the coach. He had cut his and lost so much blood that he passed out. But he was also drunk and couldn’t feel anything so he had no clue. I tried to wake him up to go to the hospital but he wouldn’t go because he does not have health care so he fought me on it. After a while he started to get really mad because he really didn’t want to go so he started yelling and screaming at me mean thing that were completely opposite so I started to yell back. Then that when thing out of control he lost his temper and came at me then I lost my temper and grabbed a knife. Io would never hurt my brother but he is much bigger then me so I had nothing but that still didn’t stop him from trying to hurt me. When I tried to leave he beat me to the door went out side first he got mad and punched in my windows and mirrors. I lost it then and there and started thronging glass beer bottles at him and actually hitting him

Now that I look back to see how stupid it was I think I could have been the bigger person. I have started to change this about me, I let things go and don’t let them get to me as bad. Not just with my brother but with every one. And when I don’t fight back with my boyfriend he think I’m not caring its just me not wanting to fight. So its wired for some but for me its not bad because I have learned to hold my tongue. But at the same time it has so much more stress on my shoulders because I’m not letting it out.

People might not like to admit the this but I have to I like to fight I know this in not good and it pushes people away but some time I cant help it. I stat what is on my mind. Ill tell you the truth about something and tell you if your being stupid and even if your acting like a 5 year old. And if you make me really mad and no one like you and you have no friends ill make sure you know about it. Iv said a lot of stupid stuff. I have hurt and offended a lot of people to. But ever since I have tried to stop and made a effort to stop and think about it I have made and kept a lot more friends and my brothers and my relationship has got a lot better.