I don’t know

Taylor - Atlanta, Georgia
Entered on September 10, 2008
Age Group: Under 18

I was asked to write what I believe. What do I believe? I don’t know. I’m sixteen, don’t I have a right to not know? I believe I shouldn’t have to know yet.

Who am I? I don’t know. What do I want to be when I grow up? I don’t know. I find it a bit ridiculous that I’m being asked these questions but am told to just enjoy my youth. How can I do that when I’m busy worrying about what I’ll be doing in five years? Shouldn’t I be thinking about the now? I don’t want to worry about things I have no control over, things I don’t really want to know.

As teenagers we are always being pressured to answer questions like “where do you want to go to college?” and “What are you going to major in?”. I’m still worried about what I’m going to wear today. How am I supposed to know where I’m going in two years?

I believe in the right to not know. Ignorance is bliss right? We shouldn’t have to answer all these pointless questions. I should be free to not know what I want to be when I grow up. I should be free to live my life with out these petty questions. Knowledge is dangerous, through knowledge we have lost faith in ourselves, we rely on knowledge for everything. What happened to simply believing? They say knowledge is power. I disagree. Knowledge has turned us in to cowards. When things go wrong we turn to logic, to science. Shouldn’t we turn to faith, shouldn’t we turn to our neighbors? I believe in the right to not know.

What’s wrong with not knowing? Why is it people fear the unknown? To this day my mother won’t tell me when I’m having any sort of procedure done because knowing about it causes me to worry. How will it feel? Will it hurt? Worries I could avoid if I just didn’t know.

Look at children. Look at a child’s innocence. Children are fearless trusting people. Christmas time is magical because they don’t know Santa isn’t real. Children are fearless because they don’t know pain. As they get older they lose that beautiful innocence because they discover the impurities of the world.

Why do we have to answer all of these questions? Why do I have to know what I believe in? What if I don’t know? I don’t know what I believe. I’m a simple person, simple aspirations, simple desires. I’m not ready to know what I believe. I’m not ready to admit my political views, my thoughts on life. I’m sixteen, I still have a lot to learn. I don’t know who I am, I’m still learning new things about my self. I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up, I’m still learning new things about the world. Where do I want to be in five years? A millionaire, happily married. I DON’T KNOW! Truth be told, it doesn’t matter what I want to be, where I want to be, it has very little to do with where I’ll be. Life happens, in the immortal words of The Rolling Stones, “You can’t always get what you want”. That’s it, point blank. Asking me these questions isn’t going make me chose my future, its not going make what I want happen. Its not going to make me chose a belief. I don’t know. I don’t know who I am, what I want to be, or what I believe. I guess I believe in the right to not know.