“I Believe in Her Smile”

Chelsea - Ankeny, Iowa
Entered on September 9, 2008
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: death, family

As my mother and her siblings were growing up, grandma and grandpa rarely showed there love to their children. They knew their parents truly loved them, but they just never showed it. To me and the other grandchildren they showed their love but rarely ever said that three letter word, “I love you”.

The reason I love my grandma so much is because she helped raise me. My mother had me when she was just sixteen years old and my grandma wanted her to finish school so she took care of me while my mom went to school and work. Grandma and grandpa let me live with them while I finished 7th grade at my old school because my mom and step dad had to move earlier due to work. I could go to grandma for anything. I was grandma pride and joy. I really took her for granted.

Recently my grandma has passed on, but before she left she showed us how much she truly loved all of us. Most of all the family showed up for her final days as grandma laid helplessly in that cold hospital bed not even able to say a single word. She had already been in the hospital for two months now and we knew we weren’t going to be waiting much longer. One night my mother and I were at her bedside the doctors said to start saying our goodbyes. With thick tears in our eyes we tried to stay strong not to scare her because she was fully conscious but her body was quickly shutting down. Mom and I both said to her “it is okay to relax now Nana, We love you very much”. Suddenly with a tears trickling down her limp cheeks she smiled and gave a slight nod. We believe, that was her saying “I love you too”. A short week later her lifeless body gave that last breath she relaxed and was gone.

Although she is gone physically she will always be in our hearts. It has been struggle without her but I know she is no longer in pain. I will never forget that day in her room. Sometimes I dream about her and she is sitting in heaven with Jesus and watching over me, simply smiling. I do believe in her smile.