Starting some time in eighth grade, I began a downward spiral into a self-pitied darkness. I was miserable. Everything was, in my eyes, going wrong. I grew my hair out and dyed it purple, wore all black including a spiked collar, and had knee high lace up boots. So did most of my friends. I would go into fits of depression. I was not a cutter, but many of my close friends were. In retrospect, there was nothing wrong with the way my life was progressing. Quite the opposite, I had, and still have, parents who love me, a really cute dog, I am a straight A student with a gift in music and art, but I was miserable. And eventually, I realized it. I came to the revolutionary understanding that indeed I was sad, but I no longer wanted to be.
I went into my room and locked my door, lay down on my bed and stared up at the ceiling fan. I thought to myself: what is the cause of my state? I could not come up with an answer. So I decided to be happy. It was literally that easy for me. I started spending more time with the people that made me happy and had a brighter outlook on life, and less with the opposite. Every morning that I woke up, I told myself that I would find beauty in that day. And I did.
I have decided that happiness is a choice. It is an accumulation of every perception that affects you during your day. How you judge both good and bad. The peaceful way I chose to mesh with the world around me allow me to fall into a nature concurrence with mother earth and the people around me. If I look outside and it is raining, I used to think about how it destroyed a nice day. How I could not go outside, how there was no sunshine, no birds and bees flying around. I now can accept the rainy day and enjoy the rain. I see no reason why others cannot do the same.
Do not think that I am heartless and cold to those who lead a hard life. And please do not think that I am never sad. I cry just like everyone in this room. I just believe that the human soul is endowed with the power to affect the world around them, and much more importantly, this choice is simple. It only took me two hours to change my entire world.
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