Cynical Love

Nichole - cloverdale, California
Entered on September 4, 2008
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: love, question

Love should not hurt. It should not constantly bring you pain, sorrow, grief, or misery. It should bring the exact opposite. Love should make you feel compassionate, happy, protected, and whole.

In order for any kind of relationship to survive; trust, respect, and appreciation are greatly needed. Last year my trust was shattered. My respect for certain people had all but disappeared. I was not appreciated, and I was taken for granted by a person that I loved. I was constantly upset and very unhappy, yet I kept myself trapped in an unhealthy relationship. I lived like that for a while, until I realized that I deserved better.

Trust is a key part in any relationship. Without it people can never be truly close. Once trust is broken, it can never be completely repaired. Even if a person is strong enough to move past having their trust broken, there will always be a shadow of doubt lingering in the back of their mind. In a healthy relationship there should be no shadows. Unfortunately I am no stranger to them. The shadows were always there, lingering in my mind, constantly questioning me.

Without respect, a relationship will not thrive. In order for a person to gain respect, it must be given to others. Once it is gone, it is difficult to get back. A lack of respect in any kind of relationship results in arguments, hurt feelings, and separation. I know from experience that when you receive little respect from a person, you tend to give the same in return. In the past lack of respect forced me into many rough arguments and left me numb when my feelings were torn to shreds.

Appreciation is another essential element in a relationship. If a person does not value their relationship they are usually more willing to give it up. I used to be taken for granted. I was treated poorly, and I was lied to regularly. I was definitely not appreciated. I absolutely agree with the saying, “people don’t realize what they have until it is gone.”

I believe that every person deserves to be happy. Love should not leave permanent scars. I believe that every person should strive for the best in a relationship. People should not be afraid to leave an unhealthy situation. In life, mistakes are made, and lessons are learned. Take them and grow from them. Don’t look at past relationships as a waste of time. Look at them as a learning experience, and recognize what makes you happy and what makes you unhappy.