Failure is More Than You Think

Jessica - State College, Pennsylvania
Entered on September 3, 2008
Age Group: Under 18

Sitting in a hard, cold seat my palms sweating and my heart racing, I realized what I believe in. It was something I never really thought about before; I just went through each day focusing on what was happening in the present. Sitting in that same cold seat in AP physics class, I realized that I didn’t want to take AP physics. I gasped, how could that be? I have been in advanced classes since kindergarten. I got to go to kindergarten a whole year before I was supposed to. How could I throw that away and make the decision to take *gasp* a regular class without giving it the old college try. I couldn’t take a regular class that’s not what is expected of me. I am supposed to be the crazy girl who takes 5 AP classes her senior year. I am supposed to be that girl who got into Cornell University because she decided to take 5 AP classes. Well I decided I didn’t want to be that girl. I thought that I had to either be the person who works really hard senior year, aces all of their classes, and gets into a good school and if I wasn’t I was going to be the senior that only has two classes a day and parties their way through senior year. I thought that if I decided to move to regular physics I would be a failure and a disappointment to my family and myself. After that grueling 45 minutes of an internal struggle of choosing failure or success, I found what I believe in. I believe that in life, there is no failure and quitting is only the recognition that something else is more important. In this case, I realized that I didn’t want to spend my senior year slaving away on what I heard were 6-hour labs and studying a concept I don’t even know how to pronounce. I want to balance my senior year, I want to work hard, get into a good college, and have fun. I am not a failure because I decided that experiencing my senior year was more important than avoiding the dreaded regular class. I believe that the only thing that comes out of not succeeding is learning and when is learning ever a bad thing. I think that the word fail and failure, anything that has to do with the term failure should be removed from the dictionary, because when you decide to quit or you don’t succeed you learn something about yourself. And learning can never be considered failing. Imagine if more people decided to learn from not succeeding and quitting; imagine the change that would bring. When the people of the world decide to learn about themselves that is when change is really possible. I believe that failure is impossible and quitting isn’t as bad as it sounds and I am proud to say that I dropped AP physics this morning.