What could be more entertaining than sitting down on your couch and watching men and women swing at a small white ball with metal clubs? Actually, everything, because golf is by far the most boring sport to watch on TV. It doesn’t help that the average time it takes 2 people to finish 18 holes is 4 hours. So try sitting down and watching your four favorite players play 18 holes. And for what, to watch these players dressed in funny clothing hold the ball in the air for 10 seconds once they win. Or if your lucky you can witness the occasional fist pump or ball throw, that’s the closest this sport gets to being exciting. Not to mention that the formality of the game shuns behavior that’s overly energetic. So instead we typically get a tip of the hat to the crowd after the balls pings at the bottom the hole.
Secondly, keeping track of the ball is hard enough when you’re the one swinging the club. So how on earth are we supposed to figure out where the damn thing is going to land when all we see on the screen is a close up of the ball and nothing but clouds in the background. A golf ball leaves the tee at an average of 156 mph so trying to watch where this little white circle goes gets pretty difficult. A lot of times the cameraman can’t even keep up with it. If watching the ball doesn’t aggravate you enough, don’t worry because you won’t even know what player or hole your looking at either. With at least more than ten players participating in every tournament we watch one player swing on the 13th hole then another ball roll into the 8th hole. At least if you go spectate in person you can follow around your favorite player. On TV if your player isn’t in the top three or named Tiger Woods you’ll be lucky if the camera jumps to his back swing for a second. There’s so many players that it gets very confusing trying to watch what’s going on. And because they all start at different times, they are on different holes and you cant even tell who’s winning because there are some people who are 6 or 7 holes back and could win it all at the end of the 10 hour program. You know a sport is getting boring when you have fans yelling, “get in the holeeee!!” on a tee shot where the hole is 500 yards away.
Lastly, I’d be doing this speech disrespect if I didn’t touch on the announcers. I don’t know how they expect their audience to stay awake when there are men whispering quaint little golf phrases with English accents for the duration of the program. Maybe they’re trying not to talk to loud so the players don’t hear them or maybe they’re trying to bring the very quiet lifeless experience right through the TV so we can “enjoy it also” or maybe they know we will fall asleep so they are trying not to wake us up.
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