I have known my entire life that I like boys. I’m gay. I noticed at a very young age that I was much more attracted to boys than girls. It wasn’t until I was in the fifth grade that people started to notice that I was different. I didn’t have any friends and everyone made fun of me. It was durring this time in my life that I learned all of the colorful words to describe me – homosexual, gay, fag, queer. These hurtful, mean words that let me know that I wasn’t worthy enough to be apart of the masses.
I came out to my parents when I was 15. It was so hard. I had no clue how to do it. I didn’t give any kind of lead in or anything. We were all watching Everybody Loves Raymond and on a comercial break I looked over at my mom and dad. Before I had a chance to really thank through it and chicken out, I told them that I had something I had to tell them. That was it; I let out my deepest, darkest secret. My mom cried and my dad started yelling and sreaming. I hurt them. I thought they hated me. I thought they could never accept me.
I believe that acceptance is the most important thing in life. I cursed my parents for not accepting me. I ran away. I couldn’t take it. How could they not accept there one and only child? I hated them for treating me that way. Then I realized that at the root of this hatred it was I that wasn’t accepting them
Accaptance comes from walking a mile in someone elses shoes. It comes from understanding why someone makes the choices that they do. So I ended up coming home after a week and we talked. My parents were able to see all the pain and turmoil I showed them in my younger years and realized where it came from. They saw how people at school treated me and realized that they can not add to it. So I tried to do the same with them. I took into consideration the times in which they grew up and the religious upbringing they had. I learned to accept their belief that homosexuality is wrong and they learned to accept my belief that it is ok to be gay. They will never be ok with my homosexuality, but they do accept and love me. They pay for my school, my apartment, we still talk and visit each other, but most importantly we still have a loving and caring relationship full of acceptance for each others core beliefs.
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