I originally inherited a belief from my father. This belief is that it’s not necessary for fathers to play a large role in raising their children. My father’s main concern was to be the financial provider for the family. I kept this belief until my wife became pregnant with our second child.
When my first child was born, I worked my regular full time job and then went to the school where I coached football, which took me away 6 days a week. Coaching football added up to about 40 additional hours a week to my full time job. I coached one year before my first child was born and three years after. During the last year of coaching, between my wife’s complaints and my grueling schedule, I started to realize I had missed out on some of the most important milestones of my son’s life. It was around the time I found out my wife was pregnant with our daughter, which was March 2007. I feel this was the moment my belief began to be challenged. My wife had a difficult time balancing morning sickness, work and chasing our son around. I also noticed our son was very attached to my wife but did not seem to miss me much when I was gone, which started to bother me, so after about three months of contemplating; I quit coaching. I noticed an almost immediate change with my son; he began to want to be with me more. Since my daughter was born, I notice she is equally attached to me and my wife. She sometimes even prefers me over my wife. I know I made the right decision for myself and for my family. I have come to change my belief to, fathers do play a crucial role in raising their children. Since changing my belief, I have noticed I am more patient with, not only my own children, but also other children where I work, at church and in the community. I feel my belief has especially sparked compassion toward the teenagers I work with. I look at them and see potential instead of “problem children”.
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