To lose a child
Losing a child is the worst thing which has ever happened to me. The love of the remembrance scars you deeply when you replay those instances of you life you had with the child. The calm nights when holding him in your arms, the hopes you had, and the first movie you watched. The first beer you shared, pre-empted by many years when you learned of his first kiss, or sexual experience.
Watching him play basketball through High School, and fighting with the ex for time with him. Suicide is a terrible thing to deal with when a child is involved. If a friend does it, the pain is bad. Why? Because you talk to your friends and they tell you their problems.
However, our children tell us only what we want to hear. Things which they think will make us proud. Yet, what we want to hear is, “How is life, how are you doing?”
When the suicide of your child takes place, everyone wants to blame one another. Because nobody understands, why?” In many cases it’s not our fault. Children are under too much pressure to perform, educate, and sport themselves then when we were younger.
However, in this case it was love. Love of a girl who would not, could not commit because of her sexual preference. In this case? Nobody is to blame. Not God, Parents, Friends, foes, etc. Just life!
Life will be painful from now till I die. But at least I have memories, and a love that can never die!