This I believe In Me

Carl - Haddonfield, New Jersey
Entered on August 3, 2008
Age Group: 30 - 50

This I Believe In Me

This I believe…I have so much within myself to achieve unthinkable potential.

Looking in the mirror I often see a person that seems like a caricature of myself, not the real me that I see with my own eyes, you know, that personal inner eye that is so good at editing an image of yourself according to your current insecurities or hang-ups.

A photo or video is a good example of this, I exclaim in horror this photo doesn’t look like me!!! or what a bad photo!!!, putting one’s own perception aside, You are faced with the stark reality that is you.

I have long been harboring an urge to go to college, I’d left school at 14 years of age, travelled to Europe with my family, after two years of ‘doing my own thing’ was marched back to school whilst we were living in Spain.

Other than a pristine attendance record the two year sabbatical had severed any notions of pertaining a scholastic career. At 16 I left after two semesters with my finger firmly in the vertical position.

With nothing more than “He’s a lovely boy but doesn’t try hard enough” report card I fled my embarrassment to London & lived the next 22 years bouncing from job to job.

Through many chapters of my life I made vague attempts at reinstating an education but with little long- term success because I never ‘really’ believed that I was capable of attaining what many of my friends had, an undergraduate degree, I felt I had missed the boat.

Six years later, now happily married living in the USA & expecting our first baby my wife had been convincing me to ‘atleast’ attempt the entrance exam at Community College, my excuses were starting wear thin & realized I finally had to commit.

Suffice to say I passed the exams with such good marks in one subject that I was given grace on subjects that I didn’t bare so well in.

This very small step was an enormous jump for me, so much so that without some help I might have never seen my own potential. Although an Undergraduate degree is still a long way ahead for the very first time in my life I feel the potential is really there for me to strive to succeed to my goal at 46 years of age.

Everyone can believe in me, but if I don’t believe in me it will make no difference. I believe one can never under estimate one’s own potential & that with a determined belief in oneself anything is possible, if you want it to be.