Tour Own Path

Jack - Plymouth, Massachusetts
Entered on July 17, 2008

Destiny: the inventible chosen fate to which a chosen being is destined to fulfill no matter what they do.

That is the definition to the English word destiny. It is trash and non sense and deserves to be thrown into the garbage. I believe you choose and shape your own life and that you live it the way you feel right. I am not a spiritual child nor am I a political one either, I am just a child with his own beliefs and thoughts on the mysterious works of the universe.

Now I’m writing this pain of a mandatory essay on not only what I believe but what I choose to follow. Now I know that sounds just like another kid’s thoughts but see, I have changed my destiny before and will continue until I am content with it. Now my dream is to have everyone respect me and acknowledge me.

I grew up in the shit hole of a city Syracuse, New York in a black community and right off the back from birth I knew what it was like to be out casted and to be different and I didn’t like it, the loneliness. I may have only been a small child but I can still remember the coldness and hatred being alone had brought me for six years and still wish never to go back to it. In the six years in that city I had only made two friends and these 2 because they were different like me. One was white like me and the other was African American but made fun of constantly for the way she acted. I was happy for awhile until I had to move, that’s when it started to go bad.

I moved to Massachusetts at the age six and like a curse I had brought isolation with me. I was hated and misunderstood by so many all because I was who I am. I would always think myself as a mistake and always ask myself why did others hate me when they didn’t even know me to make a judgment? I soon plunged myself into darkness and hatred and return the feeling back at them. I would loath them for not accepting me and not even try to.

For out casting me.

The most unforgivable act though was not the beatings I received but the constant reminder they I was a failure by people and worst of all my family! I failed at school and teachers would always tell me to be better, failed at friends and mocked non stop about my determination to get at least one friend, the failure to my family and my parents telling me that I was a failure and they still do to this day. I failed at everything that I ever attempted to do.

All at once my world was falling apart right in front of my eyes. I was the outcast at school, the disappointment of the family and hated by the kids in my neighborhood and beaten without resistance. I was a failure and would always be one no matter the circumstance or where I was. I accepted my “fate” and attempted suicide six times, all trying to make it look like an accident but STILL I couldn’t even succeed at killing myself! I was a disgrace.

Eventually two people would talk to me and we became friends, for the first time in what seemed to be an eternity I had friends! I felt I was important to someone and I felt like I was someone and not like filth. It felt so good to have warmth and I never wanted it to end. We became good friends and hanged a lot, I became happy. Then one day I was sick and tired of crying and said “no” to my destiny and knew in my heart I was better than this and I was not going to agree with it. I wasn’t different! I wasn’t a failure.

I owe everything including my life to my friends Mike and Dan. They were the first to acknowledge me as an equal and saved me from myself and my thoughts of suicide and loneliness. Others saw that I was more popular and started to accept me. My friends saved my life and I will never ever to be able to pay them back.

Still to this day I strive to for my dream to prove to everyone wrong, that I am not

a failure but an important role in this world. I will never give up on that.

Even today my dream is challenged by my family and people but because I have such good friends that keep me up I can get threw it all.

No one but you can control your destiny and you have the power to change it if you want to change your fate. I have said no to my damn fate and changed it. My name is Jack and I am a 15 year old sophomore and this I believe.